Remember how bored you always used to get when studying poetry at school? You know what would have made it more exciting? If – rather than analysing the usual romantic claptrap – you'd been allowed to spend your days scribbling out Haikus about topical celebrity stories.
Well. Aren't you in for a treat? Because – each and every Monday until we get a bit bored – hecklerspray gives you the chance to enter the Celebrity Haiku Competition.
This week we're looking at naughty drink-drive movie-man Mel Gibson.
But first let's see who claimed victory in last week's compo. You may remember that we asked you, dear readers, to come up with the best haiku all about George Michael's 3am bush-fondling antics . The winner was someone called Sour As Milk, whose simple yet effective Haiku ran like this:
OK, we get it
George Michael is a gay man
And a shit singer
Good stuff. What does 'Sour' win? Our usual fantastic prize, of course… a whole six-pack of Chewits (or the nearest, non-brand-specific alternative we can find at Morrisons). Send us your details, 'Sour', and we'll send you your sweets.
But – what about you? Aren't you sat there right now just wishing you could win some chewy sweets? Course you bloody well are. And here is how you can do it. Simply write a Haiku about the following topic:
Mel Gibson has said that he is 'ashamed' of his recent 'out of control' drink-driving antics.
Just remember the golden rule of Haiku – five syllables, seven syllables, five syllables. And – because we're so goshdarn helpful – we're going to provide you with an example:
So Mel is 'sorry'?
That still does not change the fact
that Braveheart is shit
Think you can do better? Entries in the comments box below, if you please…
[story by C J Davies]