"Monday, Monday," the Mamas And The Papas once sang, "so good to me." Obviously they didn't share the same regular Monday experience as everyone else – slouching back to work for another five wearisome days of clock-watching – as they wouldn't have sounded so goddamn chirpy.
Still. There's always one shining beacon that you can count on to light up the beginning of your week. And that – boys and girls – is the hecklerspray Celebrity Haiku Competition.
This week we're taking a look at naughty gay bush-dweller George Michael.
But first let's have a sneaky wee gander at the winner of our last competition. We asked you (very nicely, we think) to scribble out a Haiku about the fact that pop group Girls Aloud were apparently splitting up (a story that has since been refuted). Even better, we promised the winner a six-pack of delicious Chewits as their reward (or the nearest alternative brand of chewy fruit-flavoured sweeties).
The victor was someone called 'Freddy Vs. Jason', who – despite being named after such a cack-awful film – came up with this little beauty:
Just a Love Machine?
Just a call centre worker
Yeah, that’s more like it
Well done, buddy. Send us your details and we'll send you your hard-earned confectionery.
But what about you? Don't YOU want the chance to win a multipack of nice chewy sweets? Christ – we'd be amazed if you didn't. And here's how you can: simply write the winning Haiku about the following topical celebrity story:
Singer George Michael has been caught having a naughty 3am 'cruising' session with a jobless 58-year-old fat man.
Just remember the golden rule of Haiku: five syllables, seven syllables, five syllables. And – because we love you more than anything in the whole wide world – we're going to provide you with an example:
Ex-singer of Wham
gets caught in bushes with man
Whoops-a-daisy, eh?
Oh, come on. That was rushed. You can write a better one than that. And we want you to prove it. Entries in that there comments box, if you please…
Read More:
George's Sex Shame – News Of The World
[story by C J Davies]
sour old milk says
OK, we get it
George Michael is a gay man
And a shit singer
forest bump says
George, out past midnight
Fondles a jobless fat man
Wham! bam Thank you…..sir
Eric Layne says
Ass-munching pleasures
Deep into the twilight hour.
What’s next George, gerbils?
SacredRoach says
His Careless Whispers
To an old Father Figure
Smells like a Monkey
Rafi Simcha says
George smiles so wide-
Van drivers give him free rides
Come on, George, ride mine!
d34n0 says
From Bushy to bush,
standing room in the rear, no?
alight in the dark.
Rafi Simcha says
George, you’re a bad boy!
The van driver liked you though;
you’re good in the bush….
HiDeeSnickersBar says
In hedge my soap dropped
Please, helpful friend lend a hand
Help me dance again