OK, so it’s perfectly clear that Dancing With The Stars is a much more exciting proposition than Strictly Come Dancing.
On Strictly Come Dancing, what have we got? A middle-aged woman from a coffee advert and the woman off The One Show. But on Dancing With The Stars it’s a completely different matter. On Dancing With The Stars, people literally dance until their appendixes explode, and then they carry on dancing anyway.
That’s more or less what happened to Dancing With The Stars professional Julianne Hough, anyway – after being diagnosed with endometriosis last week, she’s having her appendectomy today and hopes to be back dancing within a week, a date that incidentally coincides with the debut of new ABC series Dancing With The Oh God My Stitches Are Coming Undone, Oh God, Oh Jesus No, My Guts Are Seeping Through My Dress. Stay tuned, kids.
Seriously though, how rubbish is Strictly Come Dancing compared to Dancing With The Stars? Not only does Dancing With The Stars now officially cure heart disease, but it’s also about a thousand times more dramatic.
Take last week, for instance. Professional dancers on both shows picked up injuries. On Dancing With The Stars, professional Julianne Hough discovered that uterine-lining tissue was growing outside the uterus on the surfaces of her appendix and if she didn’t get her appendix removed quickly, she’d probably die or something. Meanwhile on Strictly Come Dancing Brendan Cole hit his leg on an escalator and it really flipping hurt. It hardly compares, does it?
And, just to show how much of her life is dedicated to the art of twirling around in a dress that barely covers her bottom, Julianne Hough has decided that she isn’t going to let a little thing like a septic internal organ stop her from performing on Dancing With The Stars, as People reports:
Julianne Hough undergoes an appendectomy on Tuesday – and wants to hit the dance floor within days. “Everything’s okay,” the two-time Dancing With the Stars champ said on Monday night’s show, where she performed a samba with partner Cody Linley. “I’m going to hopefully be back, if everything goes as planned, next week.”
Even for cynics like us, Julianne Hough returning to Dancing With The Stars a week after a fairly major operation seems fairly remarkable. She’ll certainly be the centre of attention when she does make her comeback, as all of America eagerly awaits the debut of brand new dance moves like the Agonised Double Over, The Pallid Vomit and the Sudden Screaming Collapse.
Still, though, you have to feel a little bit sorry for Kim Kardashian, don’t you? Since she was kicked off Dancing With The Stars weeks ago, that means that she’s officially worse at dancing than an 82-year-old woman, a forgotten singer with a dicky ticker and now a woman who literally needs to be sliced open, possibly because it hurts so much when she shits. Nice going, Kim!
Loulabelle44 says
I disagree that DWTS is more exciting. In my opinion, DWTS is style over substance.
I’d rather the dancers are technically sound, as they are on SCD.
I’ll take Jodie’s cracked rib over an exploded appendix any day. Julianne doesn’t *need* her appendix like Jodie needs her rib… ;-)
Gina says
You’re right. This year Dancing with the stars is much more exciting and has some excellent contestants. This is in contrast to the previous two series in which Strictly Come Dancing won hands down.