Jimi Hendrix Sex Tape Is A Big Fat Pile Of Fake - Claim

Bad news - if you want to see what Jimi Hendrix looks like having sex, you’ll either need a time machine or a shovel and some puppet strings.

Because, we’re sad to report, the much-vaunted Jimi Hendrix sex tape has been exposed as a lie. True, the man having sex looks a whole lot like Jimi Hendrix, but Experience Hendrix - the company which controls Jimi Hendrix’s rights - is now claiming that the tape is a fraud.

And if Experience Hendrix says that the Jimi Hendrix sex tape is a fake, then that’s the truth. It should know better than anyone because it’s made up of members of the Hendrix family. All families have the moral obligation to exactly memorise what their long-dead relatives looked like during sex for this precise reason. We have - have you?

Now, we know you’re bound to be disappointed here, because we all love watching undignified 40-year-old memory-desecrating videos of long-dead people schtupping each other, but the massively-hyped Jimi Hendrix sex tape might just be a fake.

We know, we know, we’re sad as well. After the crushing disappointment we felt when the Marilyn Monroe sex tape was locked away forever, we were hoping that the Jimi Hendrix sex tape would be our once in a lifetime chance to combine ghoulish masturbation with uncomfortable besmirching of the dead, but it’s not to be - at least not until the Princess Diana sex tape gets released.

Anyway, prepare to be let down - according to the Jimi Hendrix rights company Experience Hendrix, the Jimi Hendrix sex tape is nothing more that a filthy lie, as Reuters reports:

“We strongly dispute the claimed authenticity of the tape,” Experience Hendrix said in a statement. “We view the release as nothing more than a callous attempt to trade on the image and reputation of a deceased artist who is unable to defend himself against such an outrageous and baseless assertion,” the Seattle-based company added.

However, Vivid Entertainment - the company distributing the Jimi Hendrix sex tape - isn’t going down without a fight. Vivid says that it’s absolutely Jimi Hendrix in the Jimi Hendrix sex tape because a woman who dunked his cock into a plaster mould once four decades ago says it is. And old lady cock-dunkers are the most honest people on earth. Seriously, we’ve got one as an accountant:

Steven Hirsch, co-chairman of Vivid, said in his own statement on Thursday that Experience Hendrix’s comments were “not in any way a refutation of the authenticity” of the tape. “We are very comfortable this is the real thing,” Hirsch said.

That’s a good argument, but we’re just going to have to go with our guts despite their being no conclusive proof here - we get the feeling that the Jimi Hendrix sex tape is probably fake.

Still, let’s not get too down about it. There’s still the Jimi Hendrix energy drink, and so long as that still contains trace amounts of Jimi Hendrix’s sperm, we’ll be happy. It has got Jimi’s spunk in it, right?

Read more:

Jimi Hendrix company says sex tape not genuine - Reuters