You might have wished death on Jerry Seinfeld after Bee Movie, but it didn't work – Jerry Seinfeld is even more invincible than car crashes now.
It's emerged that Jerry Seinfeld was in a terrifying-sounding car accident last weekend in The Hamptons when his brakes gave out and, in trying to prevent a more serious accident, he flipped his vehicle.
Miraculously, Jerry Seinfeld emerged from the crash completely unscathed – something that's being put down to either remarkable fortune, the quick-thinking of Seinfeld himself or the cushioning effect of the 45 pillowcases stuffed with high-denomination banknotes that Jerry Seinfeld always keeps on him as small change.
When a celebrity crashes their car it's usually only their fault. Sure, they'll blame the paparazzi whenever they can in the hope that they'll be able to glean a fragment of Princess Diana-style pity from the incident, but that tends not to disguise the fact that they were slammed off their shit on booze, talking into three telephones at once and wearing a Juicy Couture blindfold because they saw that bitch Kim Kardashian in the same thing a week before.
But sometimes, just sometimes, celebrity car crashes aren't a celebrity's fault. And that tends to be the case more often if you were in a successful 1990s American sitcom. Ellen Degeneres' crash was due to another driver and Jerry Seinfeld's recent crash was mostly due to his car being a lousy no-good piece of crap.
That's right, Jerry Seinfeld crashed his car a few days ago. Well, maybe 'crashed' is a strong word. We meant 'flipped it over like a blimmin pancake'. Don't worry, though – Jerry Seinfeld doesn't need your pity. He came out of it totally unharmed, as E! Online reports:
Seinfeld was motoring by himself along Skimhampton Road in East Hampton when the harrowing accident occurred at about 7:40 p.m. Saturday. "The brakes went bad," East Hampton Police Chief Todd Sarris told the newspaper. "He had to pull the emergency brake." According to authorities, the 53-year-old comic's car was headed directly towards traffic on Montauk Highway when he lost control, forcing him to swerve drastically to the right to halt the 1967 Fiat BTM's momentum. The two-door sedan reportedly rolled over onto its passenger side, then the roof, before coming to rest just several feet shy of the other vehicles at an intersection on the driver's side.
It sounds like a rare combination of luck and good judgement came into play for Jerry Seinfeld on Saturday – if the circumstances were even slightly different then he could have been seriously injured or worse. Unless, you know, the circumstance that changed was that his brakes were OK. This'd be quite a dull story if that were the case.
But it just goes to show, you can be as rich, as famous or as mullety as you like, but brakes can go bad on anyone. It was just an extremely unlucky accident, that all, nobody's to blame for it.
Although we wouldn't be surprised to see the publication of a new cookery book called The Sneaky Chef : 20 Mouthwatering Ways To Get Your Kids To Eat All That Brake Fluid I Syphoned Out Of Jerry Seinfeld's Car When He Wasn't Looking The Other Day in the next few weeks.
What? It's a joke.
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mst3kster says
I bet a Scientologist was at that intersection.