Think back to when you've liked Jennifer Lopez least. You've probably narrowed it down to the music video Jennifer Lopez did with Ben Affleck, the film Jennifer Lopez did with Ben Affleck or the other film Jennifer Lopez did with Ben Affleck.
This is because Jennifer Lopez is never more annoying than when she's parading a man around, trying to stuff her all-encompassing love for him down everyone's throats as hard as she can. So the news that Jennifer Lopez has just announced a joint tour with her husband Marc Anthony in September doesn't exactly fill us with joy, since it's basically sounds like a musical version of Gigli that repeats itself night after night. Being sensible people, we've decided that we will never ever ever pay money to go and see this horrific Jennifer Lopez/ Marc Anthony joint tour. Unless Jennifer Lopez and Marc Anthony do it with each other at the end. Then we'll think about it. But only out of curiosity, OK?
Neither Jennifer Lopez or Marc Anthony have had all that much luck lately. Jennifer Lopez's new film was booed at a festival, her ex-boyfriend Ben Affleck said that he was glad he didn't marry her and – perhaps worst of all – Heather Mills went to see her wearing a giant TV screen made out of vivisection. And as for Marc Anthony, well not only has his name been mentioned in connection with tax fraud and heroin dealers – however tenuously – he also has to suffer the ignominy of hecklerspray not really knowing who he is other than Jennifer Lopez's husband.
But all that's gonna change, because Marc Anthony is going on tour! And Jennifer Lopez is going on tour with him! And they're probably going to sing songs together to show the world that they love each other more than anyone else ever has in the history of love! And somehow Jennifer Lopez and Marc Anthony expect people to actually pay to go and see it! Reuters reports:
Concert promoter Live Nation said Lopez and Anthony, who were married back in 2004, will launch the tour on September 29 in Atlantic City, New Jersey, and travel throughout the United States, Canada and Puerto Rico. The pair plan to sing their songs together and separately in both English and Spanish, Live Nation said in a statement… Anthony wrote and co-produced the popular music video for "Que Hiciste," the first single off Lopez's latest record. The couple also star in the upcoming film about salsa legend Hector Lavoe, "El Cantante," set to be released in August.
Actually, maybe we're being a little bit hard on Jennifer Lopez and Mark Anthony here – after all, the last Spanish-language album that Jennifer Lopez released was number one in the Latin charts for seven weeks and Marc Anthony is the biggest-selling salsa artist of all time. And, so long as Jennifer Lopez doesn't clobber her audience with her apparent new-found love of Scientology, we're sure that people will flock to see Jennifer Lopez and Marc Anthony performing in concert together. It'll be just like Out Of Sight but with George Clooney replaced by some anonymous-looking salsa chap; or whatever films Marc Anthony has been in, with whoever he was in the films with replaced by Jennifer Lopez.
Or something.
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frank says
No outraged comments from Marc Anthiny fans yet? I am surprised