Jennifer Aniston: The Nose Got Fixed But The Tits Are Mine

Jennifer Aniston tits boobs breasts surgery noseJennifer Aniston is notoriously bad at keeping her men, so who's to blame her for wanting to slide under the surgeon's knife to have her nose bashed into a better shape and her boobs inflated to an immense size if that's what helps her feel better.

Only, no, that didn't happen at all. Although Jennifer Aniston has courted a lot of boob-job speculation of late by turning up to events in various low-cut dresses that make her breasts look like two zeppelins sumo-wrestling in a nightie, Jennifer Aniston has absolutely denied that any kind of surgical bazzer-tinkering procedure has taken place on her tits. As for her new nose, Jennifer Aniston admits that's true, but it was purely a medical operation that's left her "sleeping like a baby," which we're taking to mean "crying and alone in a great big bed."

God, it's said, loves a trier. So he must be head over heels with Jennifer Aniston, since she appears to bust a gut making sure that she stays in the news no matter what. If people aren't discussing Jennifer's messy break-up with Brad Pitt then they're discussing Jennifer's messy break-up with Vince Vaughn or, at a push, that magazine that thought Jennifer Aniston was a man a couple of years back. But that's all ancient Aniston history now, so what's left to talk about?

There's the lesbian kiss between Jennifer Aniston and Courteney Cox on Dirt that's coming up, but even the world's most media-naive village idiot can see that that's a sensationalist last-ditch ratings grabber and nothing more, so what else? Well, there are always Jennifer Aniston's tits. Ever since she turned up at the People's Choice Awards with her boobs pushed so far forward that she actually needed to tape a piano to her back to act as a counterweight, it's been openly speculated that Jennifer Aniston has had her knockers chopped open and bumped up.

Combine this with reports suggesting that Jennifer Aniston had also been to get her nose fixed and suddenly it seems like Jennifer Aniston is surgically transforming herself into a sexed-up supervixen who can take on, say, Angelina Jolie in the beauty stakes. But in an interview with People magazine, Jennifer Aniston lays these claims to rest:

"It's funny. I had [a deviated septum] fixed – best thing I ever did. I slept like a baby for the first time in years. As far as all the other [rumours], as boring as it sounds, it's still mine. All of it. Still mine… Short of letting everybody have a feel, I don't know what else to do. I really am pretty happy with what God gave me."

So there we have it – Jennifer Aniston had her nose played with to help her sleep at night, but her breasts are as natural as the day she was born. And just why should Jennifer Aniston need to get a breast enlargement anyway? Apart from drawing attention away from her unsightly chin, obviously.

Read more:

EXCLUSIVE INTERVIEW: Jennifer Aniston – People  

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Comments

  1. Lori says

    Why don’t people just leave Jen alone, Angi has had numerous plastic surgery ops to take her from quite frankly an ugly duckling with a porky nose to a good impression of an anorexic cat! Jen is lovely like she is!

  2. BAMZSP says

    So glad Brad dumped her – she’s a selfish child who wouldn’t know truth or love from a good manicure.

  3. says

    YOUS ALL BUNCH STUPID OLD MIDDLE AGED BITCHES WHO CAN’T GET LAID BY YOUR MAN AND HAVE TO WASTE YOUR LIVES IDOL WORSHIPPING THESE HERE HOLLYWOOD SLUUUUTS.

    AHAHAHAHAH DIIIIEEEE

  4. says

    u guys r seriously pathetic. wtf do u kno about them?? i mean, shit, just cuz u read mgossip about them in magazines dont mean u kno em! YOU DONT FUCKING KNO THE PEOPLE! so wat. they broke. so wat she cant hold a man, so wat she got surgery , WHO FUCKING CARES. yall need to get a life real fast or smtg cuz ur seriously sad people ( except for lori, totally agre wiht her)^^