Jennifer Aniston’s co-stars have every right to be scared. Star in a film with Jennifer Aniston and one of two things will happen.
Number one – you’ll do an Owen Wilson and attempt suicide. Number two – you’ll end up getting romantically entangled with her. We honestly couldn’t say which one of these sounds worse.
Luckily Bradley Cooper didn’t have this dilemma – he’s reportedly having it away with Jennifer Aniston, possibly right now. In fact, Bradley Cooper is being called Jennifer Aniston’s new Brad Pitt – so we’re especially looking forward to the moment where he leaves her for someone younger and prettier.
He’s Just Not That Into You was a great film, wasn’t it? Not for you, or for us, or for anyone else who actually paid money to go and see it – because if we had to put it in a pigeonhole we’d say it was more ‘relentless, unending torture seemingly doled out by a hateful god that’s left us with a litany of conspicuous emotional scars’ than ‘great film’ – but for Jennifer Aniston.
Because not only did He’s Just Not That Into You reaffirm Jennifer Aniston’s position as queen of really awful, objectively meritless films that would be more at home on daytime television, but it might have just found her a new boyfriend too. According to rumours, Jennifer Aniston and her co-star Bradley Cooper have been getting closer and closer lately. The New York Post reports:
Jennifer Aniston and Bradley Cooper sure did act strangely at Tuesday’s party for Aniston’s new flick, “Management,” at Table 8. He and Aniston flirted up a storm while Cooper’s ex, Jennifer Esposito, angrily drank Svedka near the bar. “Bradley and Jennifer [Aniston] were definitely into each other,” says a partygoer. “She kept touching his chest and whispering in his ear.” The pair left 10 minutes apart
Oh, this all happened at a party for Jennifer Aniston’s new movie? That’s such bad luck – it’s almost as if Jennifer Aniston can’t find love with a similarly high-profile celebrity unless she’s got a film coming out. There was Vince Vaughn with The Break-Up and John Mayer with Marley And Me, and now Bradley Cooper with Management.
It makes us sad for her – she’s got to spend the next few weeks going out of her way to promote this new movie any way she can, but now she’s lumbered with this handsome rising star that she appears to share a nonspecific romantic attachment with. Honestly, is the paparazzi really going to be interested in photographing something like that?
Still, though, we’d like to pass our best wishes onto Jennifer Aniston and Bradley Cooper. They’ve really got their work cut out for them – they’ve got to be photographed frolicking on a beach, then split up, then get back together, then almost get married, then grow suspicious of each others’ relationship with their respective exes and split up for good, and all by the time that Management gets released on DVD. They’ll barely be able to fit it all in – and we haven’t even mentioned the string of phantom pregnancies that Jennifer Aniston is bound to experience before then. What a nightmare.
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janice says
got nothing to write but crap about a woman who is just living her life. get over yourself.
awesome says
“Honestly, is the paparazzi really going to be interested in photographing something like that?”
You mean… again?
sue says
Seriously, You sound like a LOON! Go Jennifer Go!!!!!! Gawd Bradley Cooper is fricken HOT!
prudence says
more power to her for f*@!ing with the razzi…like they deserve better or something? I like this lady – but I do wish she’d challenge herself more (she is better than most of her films).
Kiki says
This article has jenhag pegged! EVERY new movie is accompanied by a FAUX ‘new romance’. PULEEEEZ!! This no talent has-been continues to ride Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie’s coat-tails, and the viewing public is SICK of it! Please leave new york, go back to making BAD-TV, and take your WORN OUT nicotine-laced ovaries with you, Ms. ANUSton!!
blady02 says
Jenn you make your awsome movie because I guarantee there are more audiences paying for anything you appear in far more than anything the Pittiful and that untalented cutting whore appear in. They have burned many bridges but you haven’t. I will gather a group of friends and relatives to pay for your movies or appearance anytime! You are an American beauty with exceptional talent and grace!
COCO says
He didn’t want her. She is too old and ugly for him
Grace says
You are crazy as the writer of this article. First and foremost, who knows if there is any involvement between the two, and if there is, good for them.
Second, please do not refer to her as queen of pointless movies and roles. She has provided us much entertainment over the years, and has done nothing but bring a little sunshine into the lives of dark and evil.
Lighten up on her. She’s done just fine!