Don’t worry if you can’t stand the fact that the new James Bond movie is called A Quantum Of Solace – turns out that God’s not such a fan of it either.
That’s because, just a few weeks after a crazy South American mayor drove his car through a set during filming in a vicious rage, a James Bond stuntman has accidentally plunged a £120,000 Aston Martin off a road into a massive Italian lake and knackered the bastard to pieces.
What’s more, it’s been reported that the Aston Martin was the only one available to the crew for the film. That leaves A Quantum Of Solace in a bit of a quandary – it could shell out for a new one at huge expense to the movie, or it could patch together a workaround. Which isn’t too bad, because frankly we’ve waited too long to see 007 bring down SPECTRE with a Segway, some rollerblades, an Oyster card and a hotwired forklift truck.
Remember when James Bond films were easy to make? Pierce Brosnan got through four of them without arsing it all up, and Roger Moore made his 600 or so James Bond movies without exerting any more energy than it took to change safari jackets or arch an eyebrow during a filthy pun.
But Daniel Craig? Since Daniel Craig’s been James Bond, hardly a day has passed without something blowing up or breaking down or making everyone involved in the production look like a hopeless bunch of cack-handed spaz-clowns. During Casino Royale, filming started without a proper Bond girl or baddie, then the set burnt down and Daniel Criag couldn’t even fight a midget without getting his teeth punched out.
And things aren’t much better on the new James Bond movie, either. For starters the movie has the worst title imaginable, plus filming keeps getting interrupted by mental South American public officials who seem to want to run James Bond over for all kinds of nondescript reasons. And now the only Aston Martin that A Quantum Of Solace had has skidded off a road into Italy’s Lake Garda, writing the thing off, as The Telegraph reports:
A stunt driver was on his way to deliver the £120,000 sportscar to the set of Quantum of Solace when he drove off a narrow bend in heavy rain, producers said. Italian television showed the car – reportedly the only one available for the film – being fished from the lake after the accident in the early hours of Saturday morning. Producers said the driver, who suffered only minor bruises, was quickly rescued by firemen and taken to hospital.
Although it’s fortunate that the driver wasn’t more seriously injured in the crash, the accident should be enough of a warning for everyone involved with James Bond to see that the whole franchise is cursed. Really, everyone should pack up and go home now before Daniel Craig’s head explodes or a monkey bites off one of Gemma Arterton‘s feet or Judi Dench shits herself.
OK, we’re only saying that because we’re scared that the James Bond producers will pull the old ‘invisible car’ scam again now that their only Aston Martin’s been knackered, and frankly we’d rather watch two hours of baby torture than that. But the point still stands.
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Gilbert Wham says
Surely a hundred and twenty large is pocket change to a Broccolli production? A paucity of Aston Martins, rather than their price, is gonna be the problem…
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The bond movies are always fantastic as they consist of every thing which an average viewer wants – action, glamour, thrill and suspense. Personally my favorite bond actor is Pierce Brosnon.