Not so long ago, television was saved by a semi-decent programme called Britain’s Got Talent. There, all manner of people would display their unique and wacky talents to us, the grateful nation.
Acts such as magicians, stilt walkers and everything else you could imagine were there for us to think thoughts like "How the hell do you discover you can fit into a suitcase?" "Why do some people bother turning up when they're blatantly shit?" and "Who gives these idiots encouragement?" After whittling down the thousands of hopefuls, the country was on tenterhooks as Ant and Dec managed to drag out a ten-second winning announcement into a full-blown hour-long show. The eventual winner of Britain's Got Talent was Paul Potts, the fat mobile phone salesman who had a talent for singing opera quite well. Now, of course, the anti-Paul Potts banter has begun in earnest – as everyone realises they don't really like the person they spent all that money on text-votes on after all.
The whole point of Britain's Got Talent was to do something that would make the Queen chortle, applaud and then possibly think that the common folk can do something apart from work in call-centres. And if performing for the non tantrum-throwing Queen wasn't motivation enough, the £100,000 prize was also a nice little bonus.
When it came to the Britain's Got Talent final, the majority of viewers believed that the winner would be the adorable Connie Talbot. Well, that’s if your definition of adorable is a sickly sweet infant who looks like she’d been in a bar fight that ended up with someone smashing out her teeth with a chair leg. We can’t remember who the other contestants were, apart from the two blokes who chucked some glasses around in a fairly spectacular way. Though we wouldn’t want a pint from them, they’d take far too long and end up knocking the fizz out of our Coke.
With opera singer Paul Potts winning the competition, Simon Cowell, the man who is solely responsible for flooding the music industry with uninspired repetitive shit music like Shayne Ward, couldn't wait to capitalise on the win. Despite Britain's Got Talent finishing in mid June, the chubby singer has already managed to record an album and hurl it into the shops. Last week the Paul Potts album was released and it stormed to the top of the charts. However this didn’t please some people.
This would be The Enemy, keen on starting a brand new celebrity feud. We’ve already had Lily Allen v Cheryl Cole, Paul McCartney v Heather Mills and Paris Hilton v recovering pisshead Lindsay Lohan. After the young indie band hit the number one album position with the debut release We’ll Live And Die In These Towns, we can imagine they’d be pretty pissed off that all their hard work to become a success has been undermined. The Enemy frontman Tom Clarke had mocked the former mobile phone salesman, fuming:
"It's a fucking disgrace. Nobody will know who this bloke is in a year's time."
Probably true, but Potts responded to Clarke’s comments:
“The best is yet to come.”
We expect this to be a Britain’s Got Talent supergroup with all the other finalists making some sort of giant megaband. Or he may enlist the help of past reality show losers like One True Voice, Shayne Ward, Gareth Gates, Will Young, The Cheeky Girls and Javine to make the most God awful gang of karaoke singers in the world.
Read more:
paul leitermann says
as for the enemy mocking the brilliant singing of paul potts
we all dont like to listen to head baning music from the enemy
that you cant even understand the words
its just sour grapes
well done paul keep it up
Bob Brun says
Alice wants to Know: WHO THE FRECK IS Matthew Laidlow(very LOW)
Geoff Reichelt says
I like Paul and his music. He can definitely claim underdog status and I have a soft spot for the underdog.
I don’t know how enhanced his semi final winning “Con te partirò” was but it sounded strong and classy to me.
I’m sure experts will criticise his singing on technical grounds but the bottom line is lots of people including me seem to like it.
Go Paul!
Duncan says
He really really needs to see a cosmetic dentist..migod his teeth are like tombstones.
Duncan says
PS he could join in with Kylie like every other newbie does. she needs all the collaborations she can get jsut to get one album together it seems….and do dreadful twee beat box……
To be fair to him..I have never heard him as i did not bother to watch the show it sounded so tacky….
poopydoo says
Does Simon Cowell only know like 10 songs or something? All of his acts sing the same songs. And who produces this shit? Can’t they find proper writers? Oh well, guess they just want a quick selling album and not something with longevity. Actually who fucking cares, why am I writing a comment fuck get me out of here