hecklerspray was in a Nicaraguan jail for seven years. The undead corpse of Hannibal Smith broke us out because we were innocent and he could totally relate.
What a horrible time we had in there though. The cherry cobbler was made from a can, the sauna motor was running until like 2am every night, and our cell mates had no concept of spooning. It was absolute hell.
If you gotta do time, don't do it in Nicaragua. Do it in India, like Richard Gere – their jails melt away when it rains. Now Gere hasn't done time yet, but India's panging for him. They demand justice because he had the audacity to enslave several children while he was there – he had to though. He was looking for the sacred stones in the basement of an ancient palace.
Or was it for kissing a girl's cheek on television? Yeah, actually that's what it was.
If Richard Gere is still in India, he's probably living in fear. Every time there's a knock at the door he must be wondering if it's an Indian police squad waiting to push him around a bit with stubby bamboo shoots. When he goes to the grocery store to buy muddy water in a filthy bag (a tradition started in 500 AD by Ghandi's mother, or so we're told), he likely looks over his shoulder constantly.
That's because India has ordered Richard Gere incarcerated. And his crime – kissing what's probably a woman on the cheek. According to Reuters:
"An Indian court ordered the arrest of Hollywood star Richard Gere on Thursday for kissing Bollywood actress Shilpa Shetty at an AIDS campaign event this month saying it was an obscene act committed in public."
You remember that kiss, right? It caused an Indian uproar a few weeks back – culminating in a Gere look-alike being burned in the street. To get a warrant, the video was shown to a judge who promptly watched it two more times. He then asked his wife for a shoulder rub while he watched it again, slowing down for the good parts. After such intense study, his majesty declared the piece utter filth while putting a masking tape label on it and storing it between two alphabetical shelf-neighbours. The movie star faces up to three months in jail, a fine or both. He's not in India now.
Reportedly Gere's being pushed to apologise to Shilpa Shetty's saint of a father, several blue Gods, and Al Sharpton – because advertisers say white listeners might buy their product too, damn it!
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Dont Care says
It is disgusting how India is full of such hypocrisy (Double Standards). There are several Bollywood films which involves loads of kissing. Why are these actors and actresses not being sued? Nowadays, majority of Bollywood films involve some sort of obscure scenes and acts but nobody says anything to them. Anybody thought of arresting John Abraham and Bipasha Basu for Jism (Body)?
kpo says
With suggestive headlines like this, it won’t be long before you and Richard Gere have Indian jail in a man sandwich.
Joke Police says
Hey – that Al Sharpton gag was nicked off the Daily Show! Naughty.