Heidi Fleiss is notorious for many things, like getting prostitutes to bang celebrities for cash and the way she looks like one of those bird-monsters from The Dark Crystal, but now we can add drugs to the list, too.
Heidi Fleiss was arrested in Nevada yesterday for – deep breath – investigation of driving under the influence and possessing drugs without a prescription.
We don't know any details, but we think that probably means that Heidi Fleiss had some over-the-counter medicine on her, and we're guessing it was Dulco Ease. Basically we're insinuating that Heidi Fleiss' bowel is jam-packed with rock-hard impacted turds.
When will these celebrities learn that medicine is bad for you? Anna Nicole Smith died because of medicine, Heath Ledger died because of medicine and Pimp C died because of a medicine that he loved enough to write a little ditty about it.
And if that's not bad enough, mostly-forgotten 1990s Hollywood madam Heidi Fleiss has been pulled over and arrested because of medicine. We know. Where will the carnage end? People reports:
Fleiss, 42, was released on $1,300 bail following her morning arrest near her home in Pahrump, police say… "During the investigation she was found to have prescription narcotics on her person, not in a prescription bottle, and could produce no evidence that the prescription pain medication had been prescribed to her," police said in a press release. "She was arrested and transported to [jail]."
This is just the latest bump in a long series of controversial episodes for Heidi Fleiss. As well as going to prison for – as far as we can work out – supplying hookers to Charlie Sheen, Heidi Fleiss also claims that Tom Sizemore beat her up. And, more than that, she owns a laundrette. Which sort of makes Heidi Fleiss a bit like a prostitute-supplying Dot Cotton, albeit one who looks like she's been smacked in the mouth with a ton of stinging nettles recently.
It's not known what punishment Heidi Fleiss will receive for her drug arrest, or if that punishment will affect her plans to open a manwhore brothel. Hopefully it won't, because we'd hate to see the violent scenes as the old, rich, stupid, ideologically-confused women of Nevada learn that they have to wait longer than expected to have it off with Mike Tyson.
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Luce Lucy says
I know this post is a bit on the old side but I have to comment on the following section…
“We don’t know any details, but we think that probably means that Heidi Fleiss had some over-the-counter medicine on her, and we’re guessing it was Dulco Ease. Basically we’re insinuating that Heidi Fleiss’ bowel is jam-packed with rock-hard impacted turds.”
That was written like a man who has personal knowledge of the common side effects that go with narcotic painkiller abuse! Severe constipation is pretty much a given for painkiller junkies. Did you know this or just get lucky with your joke?