hecklerspray has been bringing entertainment news to the masses since King Arthur threw his sword at some drowning lady's hand. We've been in business for almost literally hundreds of years, and we like to think we've seen it all.
What we're saying is it takes an awful lot to leave us wide eyed and guffawed by any piece of news. Seriously, it's all been done – except this. Mike Tyson, disgraced world boxing champion, has a new gig as a legalised male prostitute.
Or so says a rumour-happy internet anyway.
At a very young age, hecklerspray was a bee-keeper. And we were good man, we mean we were really good! We were world champion at one time, but then we bit off some other bee-keeper's ear because we thought it looked cancerous and really wanted to help. The world did not understand. We quickly faded into semi-obscurity. But destiny had a comeback in mind for us, as did Don King (not that Don King). We got a scary face tattoo, and travelled the continental United States so girls could beat the snot out of us in various decently-populated cities.
Mike Tyson's current plot is strikingly similar to the aforementioned. The poor guy made a mockery of himself in the boxing world, and apparently is hard up for cash. Hard up, we say, because recent internet gossip says he's planning to whore himself out for money. Literally. He's going to be a male prostitute.
Several months ago we told you about Heidi Fleiss making a 'stud farm' where ugly fat women can go to possibly purchase itchy, puffy,vaginal redness and scratching they can finally call their own. Fleiss has said she recently talked to Tyson about being her main sex-attraction:
"I told him, 'You're going to be my big stallion.' "It's every man's fear that their girlfriend will go for Mike Tyson."
And what does Tyson think of the whole thing?
"I don't care what any man says, it's every man's dream to please every woman – and get paid for it."
So Tyson's gonna be prancing around the big bed while heavy set older women keep throwing fistfuls of cash at him. We're told he'll have an assortment of costumes – like 'Robin the Boy Wonder,' 'the Catholic school girl,' and 'the back half of Snuffleupagus.'
But you know, that's just what we heard.
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