Future history books will report that Halle Berry was the 2,333rd most important Hollywood star ever, or they'll say that Halle Berry was the 2,333rd person to get a star on the Hollywood Walk Of Fame; or maybe they won't mention her at all.
Anyway, the important thing is that Halle Berry now has her own star on the Hollywood Walk Of Fame, which she received with tears in her eyes and a small handbook of Hollywood Walk Of Fame-based poses provocative enough to make sure that there were nice big pictures of her in all the newspapers wedged tightly in her undercrackers. Although Halle Berry getting a star on the Hollywood Walk Of Fame is a sign that women of colour can be as successful as their white counterparts in Hollywood, it's an even bigger sign that you can make shit like Catwoman and still get a star so long as you're pretty enough.
If we were actors, we're not so sure that we'd like to have a star on the Hollywood Walk of Fame any more. Sure, it'd be lasting iconic recognition of our work, but at the same time we'd be thinking "hey, Destiny's Child got a star before you. Donald Trump got a star before you. Winnie The Pooh got a star before you. Ryan Seacrest got a star before you. Hollywood likes Ryan Seacrest more than it likes you," and then we'd have a panic attack and die.
But Halle Berry doesn't care about any of that, because Halle Berry has become the latest Hollywood star to get a spot on the Hollywood Walk Of Fame. Metro reports:
Halle Berry has an Emmy, a Golden Globe and an Oscar. Now she has a star on the Hollywood Walk of Fame. A teary-eyed Berry received the 2,333rd Walk of Fame star in a ceremony Tuesday in front of the Kodak Theatre. "I am so emotional … as soon as I saw the crowds of people and friends here, I started to cry," she said.
The Walk Of Fame star marks the end of a weird couple of soul-baring weeks for Halle Berry. Where once she would have comfortably sat back and collected the rewards that come with shuffling around in the background of the X-Men films, lately Halle Berry has been rushing up to magazines to breathlessly tell them how she will never get married again and how she almost tried to kill herself once. We're not sure why Halle Berry did any of this, but it helped her get Hollywood Walk Of Fame star, so we'd also like to point out that hecklerspray also doesn't want to get married, plus we tried to kill ourselves. Well, we did our tie up slightly too tight one day before school, but it still counts. Star please, Hollywood.
Anyway, congratulations to Halle Berry for being the 2,333rd person to receive a star on the Hollywood Walk Of Fame. To think, you could have been the 2,332nd if it weren't for Catwoman. Or the 2,321st if it weren't for Gothika. Or the 2,330th if it weren't for Swordfish. Or the 2,329th if it weren't for The Flintstones. Or the 2,328th if it weren't for that crappy James Bond film. You get the picture.
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