Everyone loves a good homemade honeymoon sex video that’s been leaked onto the internet, don’t they?
Which is why everyone should prepare themselves for the holy grail of honeymoon sex tapes. Or, to be more precise, the holy grail of honeymoon sex tapes featuring a 71-year-old Asian man humping his 54-year-old husband with every ounce of strength left in his feeble body. That’s right – George Takei fron Star Trek is getting married!
News of George Takei’s wedding comes hot on the heels of California overturning its ban on gay marriage. And, as happy as we are that George Takei can formalise a relationship he’s had for 21 years, maybe this new law will make it easier for other closeted gay actors to finally come out and stop living a lie. That’s right, Doogie Howser, we’re looking at you.
If you’re a 71-year-old who has to spend most of his free time trundling around awful godforsaken small-town sci-fi conventions answering questions about a TV show you stopped making almost 40 years ago, you could probably do with a little happiness in your life.
And that’s it’s so nice that George Takei – Mr Sulu from Star Trek – is now allowed to get married to his boyfriend of 21 years, Brad Altman. Hot on the heels of Ellen announcing her upcoming marriage to Portia de Rossi, George Takei has also seized on California’s new ruling to overturn the ban on gay marriage and announced his own impending wedding as well. E! Online reports:
“This is something we’ve been passionately committed to, so, no, there’s no cold feet,” Takei told E! News today. Altman proposed last Thursday, shortly after the California Supreme Court struck down a state law banning same-sex unions. “I was planning on asking Brad, but he got down on one knee, and, of course, I said, yes,” Takei said. “I told Brad, ‘You beat me to it.’ “
We know – crazy huh? Who’d have thought that big macho beer-chugging blue collar monster truck enthusiast George Takei was gay. Especially when he goes around posting burly clumps of undoubtedly heterosexual words on his website like this:
For now, Brad and I are enjoying the delicious dilemma of deciding where, when, and how we will be married. Marriage equality took a long time, but, like fine wine, its bouquet is simply exquisite.
Oh, we’re just kidding – of course George Takei is gay. He’s been openly gay since 2005, although he obviously did an exceptional job of hiding his homosexuality prior to that by living with the same man in a loving relationship for almost two decades. Who could have seen through a disguise like that?
Weird how the stars of Star Trek turned out, though, isn’t it? Captain Kirk started pissing crystals, Scotty‘s ashes got lost up a hill and now Mr Sulu is marrying a man. The shocks just keep coming. They’ll be telling us that Uhura‘s one of those black people next.
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toolahroolahroolah says
Someone…anyone…pleeeease beam me up!
If you can’t, would you phaser me instead…. or something.
spherulitic says
Actually… Doogie Howser isn’t closeted. He’s been out for a few years now.
Harry Mudd says
[CAPTAIN KIRK SPEAKING] “Scotty, Have You Tested The New Anti-Matter Condoms On lieutenant Uhura?” [MR. SCOTT SPEAKING]: “AYE’ CAPTAIN, I’M ATTEMPTING RE-ENTRY RIGHT NOW…[CAPATAIN KIRK SPEAKING]: SCOTTY -STATUS REPORT, DAMN IT MAN! What’s Happening Down there! ARE THE NEW CONDOMS WORKING?” [SCOTTY SPEAKING] “CAP’N I’m Giving It all I GOT!!… -I CANNNA TAKE MUCH ANY-MOR-R-R-R-R-R-E-E”…[SULU SPEAKING]: This Is LIEUTENANT SULU, BUY ‘NEW STAR TREK ANTI-MATTER CONDOMS’, SO NO MATTER WHAT YOUR SEXUAL ORIENTATION IS, YOU CAN BOLDLY GO, WHERE EVERYONE HAS GONE BEFORE!!! USE STAR TREK ANTI-MATTER CONDOMS, AND YOU WON’T HAVE TO WORRY ABOUT THE NEXT GENERATION”..AH-HA-HAH-HA-HAH-HAH-HAH!!!![MR. CHEKOV]: “PHOTON SPERMACIDE TORPEDOES-AWAY!!!!!]