You have to feel sorry for the UN, always failing to get everyone to live together in peace – but George Clooney's here to fix that.
George Clooney has just been named as the UN's latest 'messenger of peace', where he's pledged in particular to use his fame to highlight the humanitarian snafu in Darfur. But why George Clooney?
It's obvious – George Clooney will be a good UN messenger of peace because he was once in a film called The Peacemaker, something that stands him in good stead to also become a UN messenger for slick Las Vegas heists and a UN messenger for rubber-nippled superheroes.
Although he's such a consummate moviestar that he'll even fall off a motorbike to draw attention to his films – and such a consummate salesman that the only products he hasn't appeared in adverts for are sanitary towels, weaponised nerve gas and Cillit BANG! – George Clooney is also a bloody brilliant humanitarian.
You see, it's not just enough for George Clooney to make a high-minded, barely-watched political thriller and just assume that it'll change the world. George Clooney also like to roll up his sleeves and and get his hands dirty, too. In the past George Clooney has spoken out about the war in Iraq, spoken out about corrupt lobbyists in the form of awful masturbation jokes, and spoken out about the atrocities committed when people try to take pictures of him too often.
But mainly there's Darfur. George Clooney has been a long-time opponent of the widespread humanitarian crisis in Darfur, writing letters to politicians, making films and becoming involved with charitable organisations to try and force a change in the region.
And now George Clooney has been enrolled as a UN messenger of peace, so you can pretty much guarantee that that's all he'll ever talk about from now on. Reuters reports:
Academy Award winning U.S. actor George Clooney became a U.N. messenger of peace on Thursday, pledging to use his fame to "shine a light" on peacekeeping efforts, particularly in Sudan's Darfur… Clooney delivered the message to a news conference. "Millions are homeless, not from famine or disease or acts of God, but from a well armed militia intent on ridding the land of its people… It seems as if at times celebrity can bring that focus. It can't make the policies, it can't change people's minds really, but you can bring a camera where you go because they'll follow you and you can shine a light on it. That seems to be my job."
Plus you get the best seats in restaurants and people send you free clothes and women want to have sex with you if you're a celebrity. But mainly the Darfur thing.
Of course, George Clooney isn't the first famous face to become a UN envoy. Geri Halliwell has also been there – you'll remember that she single-handedly stopped the spread of HIV in Africa by hosting screenings of her It's Raining Men video to put people off ever having sex again – and also Angelina Jolie is heavily involved in the UN.
In fact, wait. UN involvement? Weird closeness to Brad Pitt? Why, it's been so obvious – George Clooney wants to be Angelina Jolie. What next? Will George Clooney black his face up for his next role? Will he start adopting babies like he's on a trolley-dash? Will he make Jennifer Aniston cry?
Fingers crossed for all three.
Read more:
George Clooney aims to shine celebrity light on UN – Reuters
Carolyn Eisenhower says
First of all George Clooney doesn’t have an identity. HE IS NOT EVER GOING TO BE DWIGHT D. EISENHOWER OR RELATED. HE IS NOT EVER GOING TO BE FRANK SINATRA OR RELATED. If George Clooney has no identity and doesn’t know who he is, how in the world could he ever help anyone? All he does is pretend to help people just like Angelina Jolie for publicity. Did Angelina Jolie steal her identity or name from Quincy Jones’ daughter? Her name was Jolie Jones!!!