If you saw George Clooney getting knocked off a motorbike, you'd probably either call the emergency services or pat down Clooney's groggy body looking for the money he effectively stole from you that time you went to see Batman & Robin.
Thankfully, though, one person who witnessed George Clooney and his girlfriend Sarah Larson falling off a motorbike after being hit by a car in New Jersey last week presumably hadn't seen Batman & Robin, because his first instinct wasn't to stamp on Clooney's windpipe but to dial 911 and save George Clooney from certain death. Well, OK, perhaps not certain death, but possible cold. Unless it wasn't cold when George Clooney crashed his motorbike. Anyway, the George Clooney 911 tape has been obtained by various websites, and it's essential listening for anyone who enjoys hearing two people grossly misunderstand each other for four straight minutes.
You don't get to be the world's manliest man without taking a few knocks, which is something that George Clooney is currently learning. After the famous George Clooney Motorbike Crash of last week, Clooney's been staggering around trying to deal with the fractured rib he sustained, while his girlfriend Sarah Larson's toe is all broken up. Fortunately that's the extent of the injuries from his collision with a car in New Jersey – minor enough for George Clooney to attend his premiere on Monday but hopefully major enough to scare George Clooney out of making so many bloody car adverts all the time.
And as undeniably good as that news is, things just keep getting better for George Clooney – he hasn't been charged for the crash and the driver of the car that collided with him isn't going to push for damages either. Aside from the crippling agony that George Clooney will feel each time he breathes for the next six weeks, everything's just hunky dory. And here's the icing on the cake – the 911 call made to inform the emergency services of George Clooney's motorbike crash is pretty amusing too. Not in an Alec Baldwin/ rude pig way or a shrieking Lindsay Lohan way but, look, here's E! Online to elaborate:
No one on the phone seemed to realize that a major movie star was one of the casualties (Clooney and Larson were wearing helmets)… Throughout the call, the dialer and the operator have trouble hearing what the other is saying. "I need an ambulance to come right away, please," the caller says. "There was a motorcycle accident." After the caller gives the dispatcher their location, the operator asks how many cars were involved, a question he asks several times. "No cars, it's a motorcycle accident…two injured," the caller replies. You can hear him telling someone in the background, "Don’t get up, don't get up." "Just cuts and scrapes," he says when the dispatcher asks if anyone is bleeding.
Towards the end of the call you can faintly hear George Clooney's voice in the background. It's impossible to understand exactly what George Clooney is saying, but it sounds to us like "Screw Darfur, next time I win an Oscar I'm pushing for the UN to intervene and make all roads that I plan to travel on softer and more pillowy." And we should just point out that it's only speculation that the 911 caller didn't recognise George Clooney – the only proof of that we have is that he didn't cut off midway through a sentence, shout "Holy shit, it's George Clooney! Everyone look – George Clooney just got knocked off a motorbike!" and then start dry-humping his leg in a fit of creepy fan-worship until a paramedic arrived and slapped him off with a tree branch.
But, hey, you can listen to the George Clooney 911 call for yourself at TMZ.
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JoelB says
Hey, Flavor Fav was right.
911 is a joke in your town.
Smoodge the Naked says
I’d ask him to autograph the dent in my fender.