Warning: this is a story without winners. You’ll probably end up hating everyone involved, and yourself a bit.

Why? That’s a good question. Tila Tequila sustained heavy cuts and bruises after being pelted with rocks and bottles at a music festival this week. But it’ impossible to feel sorry for Tila Tequila on several levels. This is partly because the first thing she did afterwards was to leap on Twitter and scream about how much she was going to sue the organisers of the festival.

Mainly, though, it’s because Tila Tequila was performing at an Insane Clown Posse festival, and at least if you’re hit on the head with a rock during an Insane Clown Posse festival there’s a good chance that you’ll suffer enough concussion to help you forget what a neverending pile of unadulterated shit you were just performing at.

Sometimes it feels like following the travails of Tila Tequila is like watching a film. A terrible film, obviously – one that nobody likes because it’s got a wanker for a star – but a film nonetheless. Recently we’ve had to deal with domestic violence and phantom pregnancies and possibly invented drug addictions and lord knows what else, and now we’ve got to put up with what basically amounts to a stoning.

Here’s what happened. Early on Saturday night, Tila Tequila performed at a festival for fans of the band Insane Clown Posse. This in itself is depressing – it means that a band as blindingly awful as Insane Clown Posse has got enough fans to actually warrant a festival – but then the fans started hurling rocks and other missiles at Tila until she had to come offstage injured. And that’s even more depressing, because we’d always assumed that anyone who likes Insane Clown Posse would lack the motor skills necessary to propel objects with their arms. CNN reports:

“She’s pretty cut up,” said a performer who saw the violence at the “Gathering of the Juggalos” in rural Hardin County, Illinois. The witness asked not to be identified so that he does not anger the juggalos. Tequila posted a Twitter message Saturday, saying she would sue the festival. “Pretty soon, the owners who run the juggalos will be bankrupt,” she tweeted.

What? The witness didn’t want to be identified because he was scared of enraging the Insane Clown Posse fans? That’s a bit weak. What are they going to do if they get angry? Deliver their newspapers in an intentionally slapdash way? Not tidy their rooms even though their mothers have asked them nicely? Write ‘I AM ANGREE!!!!’ on the inside cover of their Year 8 geography exercise book? Those fans are out of control.

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