Tila Tequila, also known as Miss Tila, also known as Who?, will be one of the guests on VH1’s Celebrity Rehab.
It has been noted, and not just by the show’s detractors, that even Z-listers turned down offers to appear – yet the show is featuring Tila. This should be good fun then, should it not?
For those who’ve been too busy enjoying the sunshine or otherwise doing something more productive, Tila is a former reality star. She’s a woman who, and even her own fans may concur, needs fame like the rest of us need air. She’s vaguely inoffensive – other than that business of tweeting excitedly about the death of her fiance like she’d just won the free PR lottery… and the pregnancies that weren’t pregnancies according to anti-Tila sites. Forget it. We give up. Tila has done some pretty appalling things, in the name of staying in the public eye.
We won’t bore you chewing over the details, but we will tell you Tila has a sudden prescription drug problem – a problem that seems to have been admitted out of the blue for the purpose of snagging a spot (no one else wanted) on the show (no one’s going to be watching). Celebrity Rehab, as you may guess from the name, is a show in which people who’ve fallen off the celebrity alphabet altogether seek help. That help comes in the form of Dr. Drew Pinsky. Drew is thought to be a bit of a quack, by some – as he offers asinine armchair diagnoses of celebrities like Lindsay Lohan, whom he doesn’t even treat.
There are going to be two nobodies on a show, that has been labelled a career killer, vying to cause more drama and make even more headlines – Tila with her shenanigans and Drew diagnosing everybody with unpronounceable, non-existent disorders. Sounds fun.
From Radar Online:
Tila Tequila says she has a prescription pill problem and is heading to VH-1?s Celebrity Rehab 4. The reality TV star broke the news on her Web site and (1) took a shot at Lindsay Lohan (2) said that if she stays sober VH-1 may give her a spin off show about her sober life. ?I know I am an extremely smart girl, and to run all these empires when I am not even 30 yet, is quite an accomplishment, however I finally admitted to myself that I cannot rely on taking prescription pills everyday for the rest of my life!? Tila wrote. She then said to accomplish her goals, ?I must not be another ?Lindsay Lohan? where I just flush everything I worked so hard for down the toilet for nothing?? Tila did not specify what type of pills she has been abusing. The pint-sized formerly pregnant (?) self-described mogul says he own spinoff show about sober life would also include trying to meet the love of her life and would be ?very raw and real.?
We would watch Celebrity Rehab but… um… there’s a re-run of Columbo we must see. It’s on from whenever this starts, until whenever this finishes. Looks like we’re going to miss the whole thing. Damn it.
This was a guest blog by the wonderful explosion of joy that is Amy Grindhouse.
Follow hecklerspray on Twitter