Christmas is good for several things, not least the coming together of families.
Or, if you’re part of the Tequila household, that should be ‘the cumming together of families’. You see, annoying reality TV star and general tit-barer Tila Tequila has given her brother the greatest Christmas gift of all – she’s reportedly let her brother get her pregnant.
But before you think that one too many eggnogs played the part in getting the siblings to indulge in some festive incest, that's just plain wrong. She's playing the surrogate mother role instead.
How do we know this Tila Tequila pregnancy thing is a real story and not just some crazy concoction from a fan who wants their idol to spawn endless carbon copies of herself? Did she release a short and formal press release to circulate to news agencies such as The Wall Street Journal or The Financial Times? No of course not, this is the generation who can share information in a flash. Whether it's someone telling us they've had a banging dump or unsuspectingly given their number out to a paedophile, it can all be done via Twitter. Here’s what Tila Tequila wrote:
BIG ANNOUNCEMENT: I am going to become a SURROGATE MOTHER for my brother & his Wife!!! That is my xmas present to them. Im pregnant!!!!
You know what seals the deal for us? It's THE OFFICIAL TILA TEQUILA page. Everyone knows that if it doesn't have ?official? in the title then it’s been made up by a creepy stalker type who wants to lick their idol on the cheek and use their urine as a perfume.
Of course we know that, for one reason or another, not every couple in the world may be able to have children. It may be because some people?s genitals are broken or the fact that not everyone can easily slot part A in to part B and produce part C to infuse with part D. Sometimes, a pair of lovers might have two part Bs and that simply won't work in creating a tiny miniature person. So yes, it's always a blessing to these people who can have a child thanks to a surrogate mother. Or as they?ll feel like after a few months, a never-ending childminder.
To the world, Tila Tequila is known as one of those ladies who always happens to be photographed with most of her clothes off. Is she just a fit-looking homeless person? Or does she actually do that for a living? The latter was confirmed when MTV decided to give Tila her own reality dating show. With no Cilla Black insight, the show steered dramatically away from any sort of traditional and aged format.
This wasn?t just Tila Tequila looking to find a boyfriend. Oh no, she decided to reveal that she was bisexual and turned the whole thing in to a boy vs girl contest to fight for her heart. Would Tila go for a macho man or a glamorous girl? The producers wanted her to find some lady love to boost the ratings via teenage boys tuning in for a quick tug. Can we remember who she went with? No. And do we care? Again, not really, as she isn't with a winner from either series. Thus proving you can't find love via TV. Perhaps She'll have to try online dating.
As she's now a celebrity surrogate, so will this coin another spin-off reality show featuring Tila Tequila? We imagine so and, because the child will pick up traits from its semi-natural mother, we imagine it’ll end up be a bisexual attention-seeker, too.
Like child like surrogate.
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Carm says
Maybe it’s more like…
Tila Tequila finds out she’s pregnant and doesn’t want the baby, so brother and wife say they’ll raise it.
melanie says
yeah, i thought she announced a couple months ago that she was pregnant but just had to find out who the father was, or had to make the father admit to it publicly, or something.