Eva Longoria & Tony Parker Still Tediously Together

Whatever crazy crap Eva Longoria gets up to on Desperate Housewives, you can bet that it won't be half as interesting as whatever goes on in Eva Longoria's real life.

Remember when it was being widely reported that Eva Longoria had split up with her boyfriend Tony Parker? Remember? Oh come on, it only happened a couple of days ago, remember? Well, anyway, Eva Longoria and Tony Parker were supposed to have split up earlier in the week. But - get this - they didn't! Crazy, huh?

Man-sized cameltoe Eva Longoria should heed our advice and leave Desperate Housewives. It's a rubbish show anyway, all full of penis-wagglers and nice-haired women. And instead of Desperate Housewives, Eva Longoria could have her own show, entitled Listen To The Ridiculously Dumb Shit That Comes Out Of Eva Longoria's Mouth All The Time. It'd just consist of a single camera fixed on Eva Longoria for an hour, and she'd just spout out the first thing that popped into her brain - maybe she'd talk about how excellent her shaved vagina is, or maybe she'd tell everyone what a big moviestar she's going to be.

Eva Longoria has been mostly putting her wayward yakky mouth into practise when it comes to her on-off boyfriend Tony Parker. Time was that she'd tell anyone who'd listen that she had to teach him how to have sex, but that's old news - instead,  Eva Longoria's mouth by proxy went into overdrive last week when her slaves claimed that Eva and Tony Parker were going through "a difficult time," which fuelled rumours of an Eva Longoria/ Tony Parker split. Wrongly, it seems, as TMZ reports:

Eva Longoria told E! News' Ryan Seacrest that she and Tony Parker have not officially split and that she is flying to Paris tonight to join Parker in France, where the NBA star is playing some exhibition games. Parker was quoted this week in the San Antonio Express News as saying, "Everything's fine. A couple stuff happened, but that's nothing. Everything is fine."

We don't know about you, but we're highly relieved that Eva Longoria and Tony Parker haven't split up. After all, splitting up with a girl is one thing, but splitting up with a girl who shows her cleavage off to all of outer space is another matter entirely.

Read more:

Eva And Tony: Not Broken Up - TMZ

[story by Stuart Heritage]