It’s the time of year for all things award-based. We’ve had the delightful Naomi Awards, the NME thing, the Baftas, and now – the apex of them all – Most Glamorous Hair In Hollywood.
US rag In Touch has dished out quite possibly the most pointless accolade in the history of mankind on Marcia Cross, who is in Desperate Housewives.
It would have been easy to say ‘star of Desperate Housewives‘ but really, it is incredibly difficult to say anything nice about a programme that is essentially Sex and The City Mk II. Don’t believe us? The programme involves the kooky goings on of a woman who is unfulfilled, and her unfulfilled friends. One whom is over-sexed, one who is more sensible, and one with red hair. They’re all stinking rich, and allegedly independent, although, can’t function properly without men. Both programmes patronise both men and women.
That’s not the point of this article though, it’s about Marcia Cross, the red-headed one out of Desperate Housewives that has reason to smile. Because she has some nice hair.
‘Flame haired’ Marcia Cross (DVDs) has wowed Hollywood, after she stunned everyone by appearing with both straight and curled locks at recent awards shows. Well, gosh and fucking crikey. Marcia has even won the In Touch Most Glamorous Hair In Hollywood award for her agility with a curling iron. Word has it – according to a deeply spurious and possibly fictional Hollywood mole – that Marcia, who plays Bree in Desperate Housewives is:
"Not really fucked about such a stupid fucking
award. I’d like to be known for my acting ability, my cutting
personality and witty put downs… but no, I get my fucking hair cut,
and I’ve stunned Hollywood. I’m getting a mullet tomorrow. That’ll
piss on their chips eh?"
Or maybe we dreamed that quote up. We get a bit hazy after drinking as much Calpol as we habitually do. Anyway, the full pointless list of ten pointless celebs with nice mops is as follows:
1 – Marcia Cross (The ginge from the telly)
2 – Gwyneth Paltrow (Simpering arsewipe)
3 – Beyonce Knowles (Big legged warbler. Anagram of Blew Nonce, Yes? OK.)
4 – Charlize Theron (Blonde person)
5 – Jessica Alba (Maker of cheap Hi-Fi units)
6 – Scarlett Johansson (Secret pigeon-fancier)
7 – Halle Berry (aloof wankstress, got her boobies out once)
8 – Eva Longoria (someone else from Desperate Housewives)
9 – Emmy Rossum (who?)
10 – Jessica Simpson (Idiotic airhead, currently being taken to the cleaners by ex)
So there you have it.
Get copying those girls’ haircuts, and you too can stun the folks down your pub. Especially if you’re a lad.
We know what you bitches want.
Read more:
MARCIA TOPS HOLLYWOOD HAIR POLL – Contactmusic
[story by Mof Gimmers]