We knew it was too good to be true – yesterday we were full of news about how demented rock and roll monster Howling Mad Courtney Love was due to take over Paula Abdul's increasingly frazzled judging duties on American Idol, but it isn't to be.
American Idol executive producer Nigel Lythgoe and Courtney Love herself have both quickly come forward to refute any claims that Courtney Love had been approached to permanently replace Paula Abdul on American Idol. "Why would I do a thing like that? Have you actually seen her lately?" Lythgoe probably thought to himself while politely dismissing the rumour to a magazine, while Courtney Love revealed that she wouldn't have accepted the American Idol job anyway, for fear that the hot studio lights would cause her already massively disproportionate cheekbones and lips to swell up and burst like the world's biggest zit under an industrial magnifying glass in the sunshine.
OK, we made that up. Long story short – Courtney Love isn't doing American Idol.
When it was first rumoured yesterday that Courtney Love was replacing American Idol's Paula Abdul as the show's resident cack-brained ninny judge, several people thought it was entirely plausible. After all, Paula Abdul's time on American Idol has been mostly characterised by sex and drugs claims, huge stretches of uncomfortable vagueness and a sore thumb; and these are the things that detract from what American Idol is really about – Simon Cowell openly mocking those with mental disabilities. Courtney Love, on the other hand, is a picture of health after Mel Gibson got her off the drugs and the online dating, so she'd be perfect to take over from Paula Abdul.
But sadly it isn't going to happen – American Idol executive producer Nigel Lythgoe has stepped in to assert that he didn't call Courtney Love at all, and that it was probably just one of her slacker mates doing a bad British accent down the phone to wind her up or something, as Usmagazine reports:
"I did not call Courtney Love and am afraid someone may have misrepresented me. Courtney Love is a very talented artist, but the judges for American Idol are Paula, Randy and Simon. We have no plans to add to or replace any of them." So who made that mysterious phone call? A source close to Love says, "It was probably a prank." A rep for Love adds, "There's no truth to it whatsoever."
Obviously we're feeling disappointed now that we know Courtney Love won't be a judge on American Idol any more. Maybe all's not lost, though – perhaps Courtney Love could be placed on standby for when Paula Abdul invariably runs off into the desert, giggling into her hand as she falls off the edge of the horizon. And then we'll be able to see what we've all been looking forward to – a dishevelled middle-aged woman roaring "Try and sound more like Stevie Nicks" and "Does anybody know where I live?" to a series of frightened-looking wannabe singers.
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Bette says
heartbroken