Great news: American Idol is back. Not great news for fans of good music or good TV, but great news for people who enjoy being confused by Paula Abdul. And, let’s face it, that includes you.
Watching Paula Abdul on American Idol is like watching a masterclass in giving badly thought-out platitudes and general middle-distance vague giggling. Sadly, TV writers in America weren’t able to witness Paula’s bizarre behaviour first-hand, as she skipped out on a recent American Idol Q&A, citing an ‘eye infection’.
Here in England we’re stuck with X Factor, the ultra-choreographed
ITV talent show. That means, week in and week out, we have to watch
Simon Cowell, a fey Irishman and a shrieking, water-flinging witch all arguing about bands with rubbish names like 4 Tune. To see how to really judge a TV talent
show, though, there’s nothing better than American Idol.
On American Idol, Simon Cowell is backed up by Randy Jackson, a grown man who spends his time bouncing up and down in his seat
shouting the word "dog," over and over again like a canine-obsessed
toddler with Tourettes. Making up the American Idol judging panel is cartoon cat-duetting 1980s popstar Paula Abdul (CDs). Her American
Idol role seems to be to absent-mindedly praise everyone as if she
wasn’t really watching them in the first place. Oh yeah, and possibly sleeping with American Idol contestants, too.
Last year, it was alleged that Paula Abdul had given special
encouragement to one American Idol contestant, Corey Clark, by telling
what song to sing and then having sex with him. Clark then went on to
tell his side of the story in the pun-tastic song Paula-Tics. And so,
perhaps sensing that she’d be the centre of attention at a recent Q&A for
the new series of American Idol, Paula conveniently got herself an eye
infection and couldn’t attend. According to The New York Daily News:
Asked what happened to her eye since she seemed fine on "The Tonight
Show" Monday, fellow judge Simon Cowell joked, "It fell out."
But, even in her absence, Paula Abdul was the talk of the room. American Idol producers and Fox had apparently conducted an exhaustive investigation in to Paula Abdul/Corey Clark scandal and decided that no further action would be taken. Fox entertainment president Peter Liguori cleared the point up by saying that:
"We’ve clarified and reclarified our fraternisation policies."
Which means they’ve basically just asked Paula to keep her knickers on. During the Q&A, Simon Cowell also took time to make veiled threats towards former winner Kelly Clarkson, who has apparently refused permission for her songs to be used on the forthcoming American Idol series:
"If she refuses to give songs to be used on the
show, it’s like saying to every person who voted for you, ‘Thank you,
I’m not interested in you anymore.’ That is a big mistake, let me tell
you."
Read more:
Abdul Skips ‘Idol’ Chatter – New York Daily News
[story by Stuart Heritage]
Ashley says
Simon can shove it. How is Kelly Clarkson turning her back against the people who voted for her by not allowing the contestants to sing her songs? How does he even KNOW it’s Kelly herself that said so? What if it was her publishing company EMI that said no and she has no idea what’s going on? Shut up Simon.
KELLY ROCKS SIMON SUCKS says
Kelly does not need American Idol. American Idol needs Kelly. If it wasn’t for her sucess I doubt this stupid little game show would still be on air. Simon sounds so desprate, does this season suck so bad that you have to bring Kelly into this to start controversy?
Alex says
Simon is a whiney baby craving attention. Someone give the man a pacifier.
jen says
kelly is cool. shes an artist i think she should be able to do whatever she wants to do in her music carrer. ok so the show american idol made her famous ok but shes moving beyond that . i think we need to respect her wishes to develop her image her own way and if she wants her songs not to be sang that her wish. simon needs to respetc that. i think all artist have the right to do what they want to do.
rapid says
Has this kelly bitch forgotten how she sang other people’s songs on the show?? If she can sing others’ song on the show, then what is wrong with newcomers singing her songs on the show? fcuking hippocrite…
Not to forget that she never even mentioned Idol in her grammy speeches, and her throwing a tantrum after she lost out to a little known norwegian on “World Idol”