Britney Spears’ Womanizer Single Honked Up All Over The Radio

Britney Spears is worse than we thought - far from making a full recovery, she’s actually regressed to the point where she can only robotically babble vowel sounds.

It’s true - Britney Spears’ new single got its official radio debut today, and she basically only does two things in it. First, Britney Spears just goes “Oh oh ooh ooh ah-ah-ah” over and over again like C-3PO getting a stinging nettle handjob, and secondly she says the word ‘womanizer’ 41 times in a row. We’ve forgotten what the song’s called.

So is Womanizer by Britney Spears going to be another hit? It had better be - we’ve always said that what Britney Spears is to be violently thrust into the spotlight a bit more.

We can’t overstate this enough - Britney Spears needs a hit. As things stand, Britney Spears is actually the third most famous member of the Spears family, after noted author Lynne Spears and inadvertent underage topless model Jamie-Lynn Spears.

So Britney Spears needs to do something big to reclaim her title, and not big in the ‘cut all your hair off, pretend you’re the devil and terrify your own children’ sense, either. That’s so Old Britney. And now we’ve got New Britney - a woman who can wear clothes and mumble about God. You know, like a normal person. That big something needs to be more like that, please.

And maybe it’s Womanizer, the new single from Britney Spears’ new album Circus. Just the other day we played you a clip of Womanizer that was played on a radio station unofficially and got a DJ suspended, but now the full glorious version of Womanizer by Britney Spears has been aired in America and, well, it’s sort of OK.

Sort of. Womanizer shows a daring progression in Britney Spears’ sound, and not just because she’s flagrantly pinching from Katy Perry, either. It’s her voice. Apart for the 41 instances where Britney Spears says the word ‘womanizer’ in the manner that an aggressive cyborg would say the word ‘humanoid’ right before it shot you with its eye-lasers, Britney has developed a new voice trick.

Gone is that weird throaty noise that sounded like a kitten overdosing on cough medicine and in is a new noise - one that can only be described as ‘Flipper searching for hidden uranium with a broken Geiger counter’.

It’s hard to describe, so instead have a listen to Womanizer by Britney Spears for yourself.

We’re going out on a limb here, but Womanizer could be Britney Spears’ biggest hit for years. But only so long as she doesn’t screw it all up this time by covering her lovely blonde hair up or making a tacky video about a slutty waitress or anything. E! Online reports:

Earlier this week, the pop princess shot the song’s music video at L.A. hot spot Elevate and in the kitchen of the hip eatery Takami Sushi & Robata. A source tells E! News that she dons a long black wig for the video, adding, “Britney was wearing tight leather pants and a tuxedo top and vest, and she had fake tattoos running up and down her arms.”

Oh.