It's been a while since we stopped by Planet Britney, mostly because there are only so many ways you can poke fun at the mentally unwell.
However, it seems as if Britney Spears might actually be getting better in leaps and bounds, because she's just been granted that most valuable of parenting rights – the overnight visit.
Sean Preston and Jayden James being able to sleep at their mother's house isn't just good news for Britney Spears – Kevin Federline will also benefit from the ruling – it means he'll now get to wake up some mornings without the hassle of dealing with crap and piss-covered bedsheets. Seriously, sneaking them into the washing machine before the kids woke up and wondered why daddy's room smelt funny was such a chore.
It's been a long, hard, harrowing journey so far – sometimes it felt like being trapped in a tunnel with no beginning and no end. There have been tears, there have been tantrums, but finally the clouds are starting to lift – Britney Spears might be getting well enough for us not to feel like monsters for taking the piss out of her. Hooray!
Ever since she locked herself in a bathroom topless with one of her kids and didn't come out until the brain doctors turned up, we've had to say goodbye to comically unaware Britney Spears, and had to make do with a Britney Spears who was such an unfit liability that she wasn't even allowed to go to the toilet by herself for fear that she'd wind up trying to strangle herself with her own piss-stream in a traumatic cry for help.
However, with the help of her parents, Britney Spears has been fighting to get better. And this has been for one reason only – to get her kids back. Sure, Britney might have behaved slightly irresponsibly with them in the past but – spurred on by the knowledge that her sons probably lose two or three of their already meagre IQ points for every hour they spend in direct contact with Kevin Federline – she's made winning them back her absolute goal.
And yesterday Britney Spears took a very definite step forward. That's right – Britney Spears has now been granted permission to lie unconscious in an entirely separate room to her equally unconscious children. Happy days! E! Online reports:
The court session, attended by both Spears and Kevin Federline, resulted in "a change of visitation status" for the new aunt, Los Angeles Superior Court spokesman Allan Parachini told reporters at a brief posthearing press conference. Sources told E! News that Court Commissioner Scott Gordon granted Spears overnight visits with her sons, beginning as soon as this weekend.
It's a proud moment for Britney Spears' recovery, that's for sure. In effect the Court Commissioner has said that Britney Spears isn't as likely to stay up all night letting off an unrelenting stream of harrowing animal yowls as she was before. Or that she is as likely to do that but it'll sound like a beautiful lullaby to the kids after six months of hearing Popozao all the poxy time. We haven't quite worked that one out yet.
Anyway, congratulations to Britney Spears for reaching this important landmark. We look forward to the day when we can once again mock you for your dreadful fashion choices without having to quietly wonder if you're dressing like that because you're actually insane.