As her conservator, Jamie Spears is keeping Britney Spears on a short leash – so short that it just about stretches to the toilet if someone goes with her.
Terrified that Britney Spears will either try to swim for freedom or end up gnawing on a turd like a squirrel with a nut if she's left alone in a bathroom for too long, Jamie Spears has reportedly made sure that bodyguards accompany her on every toilet trip.
It's not a job we'd care to do – standing around in a tiled room listening to the sound of Britney Spears groaning and straining for a shit – but if it's a toss-up between that or listening to Blackout again, we'd happily sign up for crapper duty.
Never let it be said that Britney Spears isn't educational. This year alone Britney Spears has taught us so much – like the correct way to barricade yourself topless into a bathroom with a child and convince everyone that you're about to kill yourself – but mainly we now know what it means to be Gravely Disabled.
That's how Britney Spears was medically classified during her stay in the psychiatric hospital earlier this month, and it means you can't be trusted to dress or feed yourself. But that's about it, because it seems as if you can be trusted to teach kids how to dance to Madonna songs. But you can't wee in a toilet by yourself. That's one hell of a complex sliding scale system and we're not even going to pretend to try and understand it.
Anyway, our point is that Britney Spears isn't allowed to go to the toilet without a small army of bodyguards following her around and making sure that she doesn't do anything stupid, like try and drink out of it like a cat or whisper secrets into it and only call it Jonathan. The New York Post reports on Britney's visit to an LA restaurant with her dad on Saturday:
The group sat at a table to eat, but Spears hardly touched her lobster burger, preferring butter-fried frites and Tater Tots. When she got restless, her bodyguards, stationed at several places throughout the eatery, jumped into action. "She continuously got up from the table to go to the bathroom or hang out at the bar and smoke a cigarette," our spy said. "Bodyguards followed her to the bathroom and bar." Another snitch who saw Spears leave noted, "She took a coffee cup from the restaurant with her."
Actually, it makes perfect sense for Jamie Spears to want to keep a close eye on Britney like this, because it's still early on in the recovery process for her and she's still highly unpredictable.
In fact, maybe Jamie Spears should go one step further and start hauling Britney around in an oversized animal-carrier. It sounds drastic, but it's not like Britney Spears would be cooped up in it for 24 hours a day. She'd be let out for exercise, albeit with an exploding collar around her neck that'd blow up the second she even started to talk in a weird British accent. But if a messy exploded skull is what it takes to get Britney Spears back to normal, that's what Jamie Spears should be prepared to do.
Read more:
euclid says
That’s not nice. I have a messy exploded skull and
it is very hard for me. Normal everyday pleasures, like
buying a hat for instance, or a nice shampoo that
leaves me feeling young, vibrant, and bouncy are all
beyond my reach. I think you should be more
sensitive to all the people out there with messy exploded skulls
because it is such a sad tragedy that no amount of glue or
duct tape can seem to cure, so please be more careful in the future.
ps. In this instance, I believe there is a vacuum at work,
so implosion would be more likely, and less messy.
herfan says
The ACLU should be all over this. Britney’s psychiatrist poisoned her with psych meds through tricking Britney’s care taker Sam to medicate Britney on doctors orders with some medication poisons. Then the hospital psychiatrists, Britney’s family, and the courts used Britney’s mental impairments caused by their poisoning of her to strip Britney of all her civil rights. Just review the videos, and other records made at the time.
“It would be torture to give a powerful anti-psychotic drug to somebody who isn’t even mentally ill. … But here, it’s happening on U.S. soil” (ACLU attorney Ahilan Arulanantham)
If the Federal court lets this outrageous violation of Britney’s civil rights stand. The court will be sanctioning the drugging, kidnapping, imprisonment, poisoning, torture, and seizure of property, assets, and personage of any US citizen by conspiracy’s of psychiatrists, family, or others.
Based, solely on the highly subjective opinion, and pseudo-science of biased unscrupulous psychiatrists. In concert with other conspirators. And this could happened to anyone. Especially anyone seeking mental health care. Or who had previously sought, or received mental health care. This is so unconstitutional it stinks.
http://loveandaffection01.wordpress.com/
Gilbert Wham says
^^^Scientologist! Quick, get him!