Thanks to her Gravely Disabled classification, we know that Britney Spears was recently unable to feed or dress herself – but boy, can she ever dance!
Britney Spears' long road back to the straight and narrow inched further on Monday, as Britney became a dance instructor for the afternoon. Apparently Britney Spears taught a group of children aged between four and seven her famous dance moves as part of her rehabilitation.
It was a success, too – not only did Britney Spears receive a hug from each of the children at the end of the dance class, but they're also now highly proficient at dancing to True Blue by Madonna, Holiday by Madonna and the thousands of cackling witch voices screaming frighteningly inside Britney Spears' head.
Not much has been heard from Britney Spears over the last few days. Sure, we know that Britney's dad has sacked her manager, and that the Crips and Bloods are reenacting The Warriors on her front lawn, but that's all peripheral. Britney Spears has done nothing but recover from her recent stay in a mental hospital's padded room, and that's probably for the best.
After all, if you rush Britney Spears back into being Britney Spears again, she'll only end up wiping dogshit over her clothes or attacking vehicles with rainwear or falling down in a distressing sobbing heap. Baby steps are better for now.
But it's clear that Britney Spears is bouncing back, because on Monday she was allowed to look after some children. Given that she's not even allowed to look after her own children, it was certainly a risk. Even a fortnight ago, the only way that Britney Spears would ever be allowed to look after children is if they happened to have cruel parents keen on inflicting deep emotional scars so they'd never be bad again.
But now? Now Britney is all over dance instructing, which is ironic given that the last time she danced in public Britney Spears looked like a wounded deer trying to climb up a muddy bank in a rainstorm. People reports:
"The class was amazing," Robert Baker, director of the Millennium Dance Complex, tells PEOPLE. In addition to choreographed routines to vintage Madonna songs "True Blue" and "Material Girl" and "Holiday," Spears – wearing ripped fishnets, red boy-shorts and a blue top – also allowed her pupils to free-style dance. "She even played age-appropriate games in a circle, pretending to be a choo-choo train," Baker said. "Britney was just amazing with the kids and everyone ended up having a blast. At the end of the hour class, all the kids hugged Britney and she seemed very
happy."
In fact, Britney's dance class went so well that a larger class is planned for the near future. It really looks as if Britney Spears is focused on getting everything back in order again. It'll be hard work and it'll take a long time, but this is certainly encouraging.
Although if those kids all start falling out of nightclubs with no knickers on in a month or so, we absolutely retain the right to take all that back.
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mst3kster says
Ah, such a heartwarming story, but I just can’t picture Britney being a choo-choo. Paris Hilton I can because she seems really into pulling the train.
Maybe when Britney starts to feel a little better she can resurrect Ashlee Simpson’s career by coaching her on lip-synching skills.