It's a good thing that KITT doesn't still ferry David Hasselhoff around any more, since the last thing Hasselhoff needs is a car with the voice of Mr Feeny from Boy Meets World witheringly telling him off for being so drunk.
And David Hasselhoff doesn't need a car to tell him when he's uncontrollably drunk – he's got pretty much everyone who works for BA at Heathrow Airport to that for him. According to reports, David Hasselhoff was banned from a British Airways flight to Los Angeles yesterday for being too drunk to do anything but stagger about mumbling at people. At 7am.
It's hard to know where to stand on David Hasselhoff. On one hand, Hasselhoff acted almost as a surrogate parent to many of us, with his crazy talking car and slow motion booby-jiggle exploits on Knight Rider and Baywatch respectively. But on the other hand, his wife claims that David Hasselhoff beat her up. On one hand, David Hasselhoff is a man so effortlessly charismatic that women leap from windows just to get his attention. But on the other hand Hasselhoff allegedly called his wife a "whore cunt bitch slut drug addict" in front of his children. On one hand, David Hasselhoff can create a music video as inspired as the one for Jump In My Car. But on the other hand Hasselhoff is capable of getting so drunk that he can apparently get kicked out of Wimbledon for fighting a security guard while yelling "Do you know who I am? I'm the Hoff." See, it's a tricky one.
And this latest David Hasselhoff news just confuses things even further – reports are suggesting that Hasselhoff was banned from a flight to Los Angeles yesterday for being too drunk. ITV reports that David Hasselhoff was seen staggering around Heathrow airport having difficulty standing up while mumbling to passers by and even, at one point, trying to pick up a shop manageress. Hasselhoff was also reportedly seen downing beer and whisky while waiting for his flight. A witness told newspapers:
"A passenger asked if he was David Hasselhoff and he said, `Not at all, you must be mistaken'. He wasn't aggressive, he just had problems standing."
Although he was let onto another flight once he had sobered up a little, the reason why David Hasselhoff got so drunk is still unclear – some sources are claiming that Hasselhoff told BA staff how upset his divorce was making him, but we'd imagine that anyone who wants to make a musical out of their own life has problems that cut a little bit deeper.
[story by Stuart Heritage]