Barron Hilton hasn't got a lot going for him – not only does he have the spazzy hair and pudgy face of a rejected Just William character, but he's also staring down the barrel of a vicious DUI charge.
Following his arrest last month, Paris Hilton's 18-year-old brother has been formally charged with DUI by the Los Angeles County Sheriff's Department and faces arraignment in April.
It just goes to show how quickly Barron Hilton is becoming his sister. Now that they've both been charged with DUI, Barron only has to be in a shitty reality TV show and wank a bloke off on the internet until he ends up with jizz all over his tits and Barron will have caught up with Paris Hilton completely.
Perhaps it's because they were too busy trying to run a chain of iconic hotels, but the Hilton family don't seem to have done a great job raising their kids. Paris Hilton, of course, everyone knows about. Paris Hilton is a jailbird reality TV star who regularly films herself shagging men and dances with her norks out. Paris' sister Nicky and brother Conrad were raised so poorly that they've yet to develop personalities and wouldn't even recognise themselves if they looked in a mirror.
And then there's Barron Hilton. Barron Hilton has all the classic trappings of a delinquent. He's been raised rich enough not to have any real responsibilities, he's grown up as part of a thunderingly vapid and self-regarding set that routinely validates and celebrates these lack of responsibilities and he's named after the lowest rank in the British peerage system, so you can bet he's as angry as shit about that as well.
Whether or not Barron Hilton is a delinquent remains to be seen, because he hasn't been found guilty of DUI or anything yet. But Barron Hilton has been arrested for DUI and now he's been charged with it as well so, you know, there's a pretty good chance. The Boston Globe reports:
Barron Nicholas Hilton, Paris' 18-year-old brother, was charged yesterday with four misdemeanor counts stemming from his arrest last month on suspicion of drunken driving. Charges include driving under the influence of alcohol or drugs and being an unlicensed driver.
As this is Barron Hilton's first offence, if he's found guilty he'll most likely avoid a jail sentence – at least until the hereditary genetic impulses kick in and he goes and does the exact same thing a week later.
But even though these are dark days for Barron Hilton, we have no doubt that the old Hilton trait of turning a negative into a positive will help him out. Just as Paris Hilton seized upon her internet sex tape and turned it to her advantage by becoming a reality TV star, then maybe this DUI charge will do the same for Barron Hilton.
And, you know what, we'd watch a Barron Hilton reality TV show. But only because we're eager to see if wears a top hat and a monocle all the time and rides a Shetland pony around his house and beats his servants with a brass-tipped cane whenever they look him in the eye. Because his name and facial expression makes us think that perhaps he does.
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Street Pooch says... says
I was listening “Spoon” by Johnathan Fisk while I reading this article. ..and I thought…f@ck this! this big kid “B” just spitted on a street !something like that.
What’s wrong with him? nothing at all! LMAO! well, he’d better comes out with some retaliation & some smarter way to avoid this kind of situations for the future….