Hooray for love and life! Ashlee Simpson has married Fall Out Boy bassist Pete Wentz and has a little celebrity hybrid leeching on her insides.
They swapped declarations of love and commitment in front of close friends and family yesterday during a fairytale wedding ceremony (it was Alice in Wonderland themed) and Ashlee chose to reveal her pregnancy to everyone at the reception, OK! Magazine reported.
Barely a month has passed since Ashlee announced her engagement to Wentz. Barely a month has passed since the pregnancy rumours started. Back then Pete Wentz said this:
There is a witch hunt for people to be pregnant whenever they get engaged in Hollywood. This is all news to me.
Oh yeah, hecklerspray knows how to hunt down a witch!
We are so good at witch hunts! Let’s try another one: Ashlee Simpson to have an abortion? No, unfortunately, we probably won’t catch that one. Sorry God, it’s over to you.
Poor old Pete Wentz; one minute you’re a single guy in a world famous rock band with endless possibilities ahead of you, having your merry way with a myriad of mentally malnourished girls; the next you’re stuck with just one of those girls, in a legally bound cage, for at least the next 18 years.
What does this signal for the future of humanity? Could this be the end of the band? Will this be the end to Fall Out Boy? Where’s Radioactive Man when you need him? With any luck he’ll be taking his radioactive powers to a gynaecologist near you but, having said that, if ever there was a moral reason to bring another hungry mouth into this world then the destruction of Fall Out Boy would be it.
A spokesperson for the couple told People.com:
We’re delighted to confirm that Pete Wentz and Ashlee Simpson were married this evening in front of family and close friends
Ashlee Simpson’s big sister Jessica attended with Dallas Cowboys quarterback Tony Romo (to any UK folk reading, Tony Romo is a man who throws an inflatable egg to other men for money, like Jonny Wilkinson but with padding and tighter pants) and was maid of honour, whilst Pete’s bulldog Hemingway acted as ring bearer.
Ernest Hemingway, who we assume the dog is named after, was of course married four times before he killed himself.
Three cheers for Pete And Ashlee!
Read More – Ashlee Simpson Confirms Pregnancy At Her Wedding, eFlux Media
Chris says
Seriously, you need therapy.
Elvis Presley says
Marriage can be a beautiful thing as an expression of commitment of two people in love wanting to share their life together. . .especially if there’s a baby on the way!
You never know, it may have a fairy tale ending. . . stories about celebrities can disguise any depth that may be present. . .some members of the public demand evidence of shallowness in celebrity to make them feel better about themselves. . . probably because they’re not famous, and would like to be. . . . or even happy. . . god damn the peasants. . .they want happinness too! Let them eat cake, I say. . . !