Ashlee Simpson and Pete Wentz Last A Whole Year, Get Engaged

It was love at first sight for Pete Wentz and Ashlee Simpson.

Well, we imagine it was. Each had to do the standard offhand hair flick to adjust the superfluous strands of long bangs stylishly obscuring their vision to confirm it. But yeah, love at first sight followed by months of blissful romps through studded belt stores and romantic evenings painting each other’s fingernails black and applying excessive eyeliner.

Ashlee and Fall Out Boy guitarist Pete Wentz fell in love and just got engaged. Literally just right now. Two seconds ago. Keep up, people. There’s some lovely mocking to be had.

You know Ashlee Simpson. Aside from the fact that she’s the poster child for wannabe pseudo-rocker chicks (Avril Lavigne was positively devastated to be knocked off her 5-year poster child streak, you know), she’s also the lesser known of the infamous Simpson sisters. We, of course, mean lesser known to father/manager Joe Simpson, because Jessica Simpson is the daughter with the actual ability to somewhat sing, movie roles, and most importantly the double D’s he so openly pervs about.

Luckily, Ashlee has been able to find love that she neglected to receive from her father, any singer able to sing live for real, and millions of hopping mad Superbowl fans. And she’s found it with Pete Wentz. He’s known for being the guitarist for Fall Out Boy, but we read an AOL interview he did using AIM and he typed ‘haha’ like a hundred times, or something. He should be known for that. That’s much cooler. Anyway, here’s Ashlee’s generic ‘give us lots of publicity, but respect our privacy’ statement:

“We know there has been a lot of speculation recently about Pete and I, and we wanted our fans to be the first to know, because you guys are the best. Yes, we are thrilled to share that we are happily engaged. Thank you for all of your support and well wishes – it means the world to us. We consider this to be a very private matter, and we wanted to be the first to tell you and to hear it straight from us.”

Ashlee’s all about getting things straight nowadays. Like her nose and making it clear that her boyfriend is.

Well, there you have it. Petey also made a statement saying the couple is ‘past the honeymoon period’. Well, duh! They’ve been together a year. A whole year. Do people even stay together for that long anymore? How old fashioned Ozzie and Harriet-ish of them, complete with a white picket fence and separate twin beds.

And now that that pesky honeymoon period has come and gone, we anxiously await the rumoured pregnancy, birth of a child who’ll be given a stupid name, marriage, and divorce, with the unauthorized release of sex tape thrown in there somewhere. Yay!

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Ashlee Simpson & Pete Wentz Get Engaged - People