Now that Anna Nicole Smith has gone and died, we're forced to snatch whatever memories we have left of her whenever we can – like 17-year-old secretly-recorded tapes of Anna Nicole have surgery on her knockers.
As the clown-faced soft-porn drug-addict of our hearts, it's perfectly natural that we should want to see this video of a surgeon pulling apart Anna Nicole Smith's flesh and making her tits bigger, but sadly a judge has decided to ban distribution of the Anna Nicole Smith jug-job tape. Why? Because our old friend Howard K Stern doesn't think it's a very tasteful way to commemorate the life of Anna Nicole Smith, that's why. Which is fair enough, we suppose – we'll have to make do with a) that video of Anna Nicole Smith chewing on a lesbian's nipple in the bath and b) those stories about how everyone was fighting over Anna Nicole Smith's dead body for so long that her cadaver went rotten instead. It's what she would have wanted.
Yes, yes, we know – we also thought that the only way we'd be hearing any more about Anna Nicole Smith is if she became reanimated, crawled out of her grave and starting boning rich old men again too. On paper it would seem like everything is all wrapped up – Anna Nicole Smith died and we know exactly what drugs killed her. We also know where Anna Nicole Smith got buried, who the father of her daughter is and not to watch TV when that sobbing idiot judge of hers is on. But is Anna Nicole Smith's story all wrapped up?
Of course not, because nobody would be trying to make money from Anna Nicole Smith's death if it was all wrapped up. And, trust us, there are plenty of people trying to make money from Anna Nicole Smith's death. There's that creepy Anna Nicole Smith movie in the works, various sales of Anna Nicole Smith's icky diaries and we're still awaiting Larry Birkhead's Goodnight My Sweet Anna Baby stageplay in much the same way that dog awaits having its balls chopped off. But, for now at least, nobody's going to cash in on tapes of Anna Nicole Smith having her boobies enlarged.
In the wake of her death, surgeon Dr Gerald Wayne Johnson has apparently been trying to punt around a video he made in 1994 of Anna Nicole Smith having her breasts augmented to memorabilia brokers with the intent to get it distributed as a video, or part of a television show, or a movie entitled Here's What The Insides Of Anna Nicole Smith's Tits Looked Like 17 Years Ago Before She Was Dead for all we know. Anyway, as E! Online reports, Anna Nicole Smith's lawyer, estate protector, sort-of husband and no-time procreation partner Howard K Stern has put an end to that silliness:
In court documents obtained by celebtv.com, Stern accuses Texas plastic surgeon Dr. Gerald Wayne Johnson of making the tape without Smith's permission and then trying to sell it after her death to L.A.-based memorabilia broker Thomas Riccio, "with the express purpose of reaching out to media outlets in California." Stern's lawsuit on behalf of Smith's estate claims that Johnson broke multiple state and federal laws by filming the late model without consent and that the doctor violated Smith's patient-client privilege and numerous ethical guidelines by attempting to peddle the footage.
The judge ruling over the case has prohibited the sale, distribution and dissemination of Anna Nicole's tittyslice tape and ordered that all copies be handed over to Howard K Stern pending a hearing at the end of September. Now, even those who wouldn't class themselves as fans of Anna Nicole Smith should be able to agree that selling images of a dead woman undergoing surgery is about as tasteless as you can get. Obviously that'll all change once we dig Anna Nicole up, make a cast of her fanny and sell metal replicas of it as disgusting mantelpiece ornaments, but for now we're outraged. Outraged.
Read more:
Judge Rules In Anna Nicole Smith's Breast Interest – E! Online