So now we know where Anna Nicole Smith got buried, what massive cocktail of prescription drugs killed Anna Nicole Smith and the type of scary clown she liked to dress up as – that just leaves the paternity of Anna Nicole Smith's baby daughter.
And now it's beginning to look as if we'll get the answer to that poser before the end of the week. Howard K Stern, the former boyfriend and lawyer of Anna Nicole Smith – whose name is on the birth certificate of Anna Nicole Smith's daughter Dannielynn Hope – has suddenly dropped his appeal to block the use of DNA paternity tests to discover the true fatherhood of the baby. From now on, one of three things could happen: 1) The court could reveal that the DNA tests prove that Larry Birkhead is the father of Anna Nicole Smith's baby, 2) the court could reveal that Howard K Stern was the father of Dannielynn Hope all along or 3) the DNA tests could reveal that a disgusting mixture semen from every single male on earth somehow impregnated Anna Nicole Smith, making us all the father of Dannielynn Hope and therefore legally entitled to a share of that dead old oil guy's billions.
It's been less than two months since Anna Nicole Smith suddenly died. We just thought we'd remind you of that because it seems like much longer, doesn't it? It seems like much longer since Anna Nicole Smith was fake-marrying Howard K Stern on a boat to try and stop Larry Birkhead from getting his DNA test.
And so much has happened in those two months – the long Anna Nicole Smith body-battle was ended by a sobbing judge who loved the Bahamas, we finally discovered that Anna Nicole Smith's death wasn't as murdery as we had assumed as – perhaps most shockingly of all – a fat judge smoked a doobie in the park. And now for the final piece of the puzzle – there's a chance that we could imminently discover who the father of Anna Nicole Smith's baby daughter Dannielynn Hope is, since Howard K Stern has dropped the DNA paternity appeal he'd been gunning for. ABC reports:
The lawyer-turned-partner of Anna Nicole Smith dropped his bid Monday to halt the use of DNA to prove the paternity of the former Playboy playmate's infant daughter when it appeared a Bahamas court was going to reject his appeal. An attorney for Howard K. Stern withdrew the challenge in the face of skeptical questioning by a three-judge panel of the Court of Appeal. All three judges said Stern filed his challenge too late and should have raised his objections before the Supreme Court ordered DNA testing in the paternity challenge filed by Larry Birkhead, a former boyfriend of Smith's who claims to be the father of the infant, Dannielynn.
By dropping his appeal Howard K Stern also agreed to pay $10,000 in legal costs incurred by Larry Birkhead and a Bahamian government office. And on top of this, many will see the move as a step closer to victory for Larry Birkhead who, along with Dannielyn, submitted DNA for a paternity test last month.
That's not to say that Larry Birkhead is automatically the father of Anna Nicole Smith's baby, though – still in the babydaddy running with Birkhead are Howard K Stern, that weird old German man with erectile dysfunction, one of Anna Nicole Smith's bodyguards and the frozen spoo of a dead man she used to be married to – but it hasn't stopped Larry Birkhead from registering another creepy Anna Nicole Smith trademark just in case; so don't think you can use the phrase 'Mwa-Ha-Ha! I'm Rich! Rich! And I'm Going To Buy A Helicopter!' any time soon.
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Loiti says
That baby’s as good as Birkhead’s… stern’s dreams are ova