Anna Nicole Smith Dumped By Lawyer She Didn’t Boff

By and large Anna Nicole Smith has two types of lawyer; the type of lawyer that falls in love with her and has sex with her a bunch of times until she get pregnant, and the type of lawyer that doesn't.

Strangely enough, Anna Nicole Smith has more trouble keeping hold of the lawyers that she doesn't pound over the head with her ridiculous breasts or show brief flashes of her mimsy to than the ones that do get those, um, perks. For, while Anna Nicole Smith's lawyer Howard K Stern often gets taken out on boats for elaborate love ceremonies, Anna Nicole Smith's other lawyer - Bahamas-based Michael R Scott - has quit working for Anna because of her weird conduct.

There's a chance that at the moment - what with having a recently dead son and a new daughter and everything - a lawyer in the Bahamas deciding not to work for Anna Nicole Smith any more won't really shatter her world any more than it is already. However, Michael R Scott of Callenders & Co. in Nassau has had enough of Anna Nicole Smith, and he's happy to tell the world why:

"We have in fact terminated representation of Anna Nicole Smith because of differences that have arisen in relation to strategy and matters arising out of the death of Daniel Smith."

Quite what 'strategy and matters' means is a little bit unclear - maybe Scott didn't want Anna Nicole Smith to order a second autopsy on Daniel Smith's body, maybe Scott thought that releasing a statement saying drugs weren't the cause of his death a few days before a report came out saying that drugs were the cause of death was a little short-sighted, maybe Michael R Scott just thought that Anna Nicole Smith should be on the boat sharing her love with him! Him, damnit, not that jerkoff Howard K Stern! But chances are we'll never know.

Still, at the moment Anna Nicole Smith could probably do with all the lawyers she can find. Her regular lawyer Howard K Stern is probably too busy changing the nappies of the daughter he says he fathered to do anything particularly lawyerish at the moment, like dealing with the other bloke who says that he's the father of Anna Nicole Smith's daughter as well or, you know, making Anna Nicole Smith's life look less like the total trainwreck that it's currently resembling.

Read more:

Anna Nicole Smith's Bahama's Lawyer Quits - People

[story by Stuart Heritage]