Angelina Jolie ‘Only Got Pregnant To Stop Brad Pitt Running Off’

When Brad Pitt tells Angelina Jolie to jump, she says "how high?" And when Brad Pitt tells Angelina Jolie to start filling her guts up with unborn children, she'll stuff twice as many as he asked for up there.

That's the insinuation being made, anyway. Angelina Jolie reportedly only decided to fall pregnant with twins because she was scared that Brad Pitt would leave her if she didn't.

If that's true then Angelina Jolie is a fool. She should come and shack up with us, because we'd never ask her to get pregnant if she didn't want to. In fact, we hate children so much that we'd make her drown all her existing kids in the bath before we let her move her stuff in. That's the exact opposite of what Brad Pitt wants, which is why we're confident that Angelina Jolie will choose us.

Brad Pitt is like a wild animal, hell-bent on ensuring that his lantern-chiseled good looks and bubblewrap abs are passed on down through the generations. Gwyneth Paltrow, Jennifer Aniston and Juliette Lewis couldn't give Brad Pitt what he wanted, and so he found love with Angelina Jolie. And now that Angelina Jolie has already squirted out one Brad Pitt baby, she'd better carry on doing it or Brad Pitt will leave her before she knows what hit her. Allegedly.

Angelina Jolie is so pregnant with twins, but she doesn't want you to know it. Even though it's clear that Angelina Jolie is either pregnant or fermenting a hundredweight of kimchi in her small intestine, there's been no official confirmation of it yet. But just because Angelina Jolie hasn't said that she's pregnant, it doesn't mean that people can't start wildly speculating on why she got pregnant in the first place.

From what reports would have you believe. there's a clear divide between Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie. Brad Pitt likes kids that he's made with globs of his own semen, but Angelina Jolie likes the exotic prepackaged ones that you don't have to eek down your birth canal for hours at a time. And while Angelina Jolie is happy to keep adopting the latter until the day she dies, Brad Pitt wants more of the first lot.

And, according to Entertainmentwise, Angelina Jolie is so scared of Brad Pitt leaving her that she relented and got herself knocked up:

Following a series of heated arguments over expanding their rainbow family, the actress reportedly feared that Brad would leave her if she was unable to give him another biological child. “Then, when she couldn’t get pregnant, Angelina worried that Brad might leave her,” a source confides to the National Enquirer. “That’s when she went to the specialist.” Whilst there has been no official announcement, it's widely believed that Angie is expecting twins, as the result of in vitro fertilization.

While we like the sound of Brad Pitt getting furious because each of his ejaculations doesn't immediately create a baby, nobody really knows how true the report is. If it is true, then our estimation of Brad Pitt has fallen dramatically. Threatening to leave a woman just because she can't get pregnant as quickly as you'd like is a terrible thing to do. 

Angelina Jolie should have just called Brad Pitt's bluff and let him leave her. Not only would she have asserted herself as a tough, independent woman in control of her own body, but she'd have also been so busy raising all her kids that there wouldn't be any time left for her to star in any more rubbishy over-serious films that nobody wants to watch. We'd have all won, in that sense,

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Angelina Jolie Wanted Another Baby To Keep Brad? - Entertainmentwise