Dang that Angelina Jolie. She’s always one-upping us with her do-good antics…
We make a record number of citizen’s arrests for public urination; Angelina Jolie becomes a UN Goodwill Ambassador. We take mashed potatoes and Matlock videotapes to the local old people’s hotel, or whatever it is; Angelina Jolie visits a wad of impoverished nations. Now, after we put 17 cents into the little plastic box at the checkout counter to help kids with the shakes, Angelina Jolie goes out and adopts another foreign kid.
Yup, Angelina Jolie can stick a pin in Vietnam on the world map on her wall, because that’s where she’s filed for the latest addition to her eclectic baby collection. We’re assuming her boyfriend Brad Pitt already knew and isn’t hearing about this for the first time as he reads this article, but maybe that’s just a fool’s hope. What? You don’t think Brad Pitt reads hecklerspray? Whatever, he totally does. Everybody in the flippin’ universe reads hecklerspray.
Apparently the adoption process began shortly after Angelina Jolie and Brad Pitt welcomed their daughter, genetic jackpot winner Shiloh Nouvel, to the world. Shiloh joined Maddox, five, adopted from Cambodia; and Zahara – or 'Shakira', as estranged grandpa Jon Voight called her – two, adopted from Africa. We’re thinking that because Angelina Jolie and Brad Pitt paid for the first three kids, the fourth one is free. They don’t save as much as if they’d gone bulk and gotten them all at once, but it’s still a killer deal.
At any rate, it’s now virtually impossible to tell what’s growing faster – Angie’s brood or the surface area of her body that is covered by tattoos. However, before you get too excited and go rushing out to buy the spring line of Baby Amnesty International Sportswear for the new pup, a ‘source’ close to Angelina Jolie has let People know that the adoption process may take a long time to carry out. Read for yourself:
"That process could take a long time to unfold, and while it is wonderful that people are excited about it, the news that papers have been filed is only the beginning of a very comprehensive and detailed process."
In the meantime, Angelina Jolie can spice up her life in different ways. She could spend hundreds upon thousands of dollars at Barney’s Department Store and practise appearing in public on the arm or her husband in a catatonic state whilst being followed by Scientology security detail, or she could flash her what-nots to the world, shave her noggin’ and stab a car full of paparazzi with an umbrella.
Seriously, though, kudos to Angie. Adoption rocks. Just remember that sometimes it’s okay to bring home an ordinary souvenir from the countries you visit – like an ornate plate, humorous t-shirt, or a mug adorned with your favourite tourist attraction – instead of an actual human being. Just something to mull over.
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karen M says
Did you see those photos of little Shiloh? Soooo cute – almost an exact cross between Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie