It’s easy for Angelina Jolie to make news. Steal someone’s husband, give a foreign kid a stupid name.
That sort of thing. But last night, at the London premiere of Salt, Angelina Jolie managed to make headlines simply by putting on some clothes and turning up. To be fair that’s not all she did – Angelina Jolie also managed to go an entire evening without letting on that Salt looks like a massive sack of donkey bollocks. So that’s something.
Notice that Brad Pitt didn’t accompany Angelina Jolie last night. This might be because he was making a film, or because he didn’t want to steal the limelight. But we’re a gossip blog, so we feel duty-bound to start a made-up rumour that their relationship is in trouble and, we dunno, he’s left her for Jennifer Aniston. Or something. We’re not very good at this.
Angelina Jolie’s promotional duties for Salt have been surprisingly light so far. Sure, we’ve had a few stories about how her daughter thinks she’s a boy and how she may have tattooed her thigh at some point, but that’s all minor stuff. Maybe Salt would have fared better in America if she’d gone the extra mile. You know, like adopting a child from Indonesia and giving it a new name that consists entirely of consonants and emoticons. Or starting another breathtakingly pointless war of words with Jennifer Aniston. Stuff that she’s good at. But, sadly, none of that has happened yet.
Maybe Angelina’s waiting for the DVD release. Instead, we have to make do with scenes like last night, where Angelina Jolie turned up to her own premiere in some clothes and sort of hung around for a while, and people generally treated it like the actual second coming of Christ. ITN reports:
Hundreds of fans camped and queued for hours to catch a glimpse of the stunning actress, who attended the Leicester Square event without partner Brad Pitt. The star, who was wearing a long silvery dress, said she appreciated the support. “I always enjoy London. It’s amazing. It means so much when everybody comes out,” said Angelina, 35.
And that was that. Well done to Angelina Jolie for proving her doubters wrong. Those people who said she couldn’t get dressed and then go and see her own film and then sort of stand around while people take photos of her must have serious egg on their faces now. You show ’em, Angelina. You show ’em by continuing to get dressed and then go and see your own film and then sort of stand around while people take photos of you.
Anon says
I’m so curious. Why she always have that empty look on her eyes? It seems like her mind is somewhere far away. Perhaps she was wondering what Pitt is doing at that time..lol.
billy says
Hilarious article! Everything is true, just missing the sentence about how she can’t act. They don’t call it show business for nothing… her relationships are for show.