Ali Lohan has it harder than any of us know – she’s suffered so much just for being Lindsay Lohan’s sister.
Being famous by association has ruined Ali Lohan’s school life – she’s been home-schooled ever since she was bullied by classmates because of who she was. And, for someone as naturally shy and limelight-intolerant as Ali Lohan, that bullying must have really hurt.
How do we know this? Because Ali Lohan’s been blabbering on about it to help promote her forthcoming reality TV show that’s all about Ali Lohan and her aggressively relentless pursuit of fame. Crikey, this Lohan stupidity gene really is stronger than any of us could have possibly imagined, isn’t it.
If we were to make a list of all the things we wouldn’t want to experience as a child, it’d probably include a born-again Christian jailbird father, a drunken slag of an older sister, an obnoxiously pushy mother and the constant threat of sprouting bright orange pubic hair out of our vagvag at any moment. And, if you were to put all of those factors into a Venn diagram, the exact centre point would be where 14-year-old Ali Lohan is right now.
So what better way to celebrate Ali Lohan’s monumentally screwed-up family life at the precise moment of her life when puberty’s got her all spazzed out and unpredictable than by making a reality TV show about her?
It’s no secret that a Lohan family reality TV show was on the cards, but now it’s been made horribly real. The show, entitled Living Lohan, will premiere on E! at the end of the month, and by all accounts it looks even more dimwitted than even we expected. For starters, here’s the official Living Lohan promo spot…
But that’s mostly just about Dina Lohan and her efforts to show the world that even everyone’s most outlandishly awful assumptions about her are basically rooted in fact. What about Ali Lohan? She’s a part of Living Lohan too, so it’s probably best that she sets her stool out as a hapless victim nice and early, regardless of how un-self aware it makes her look. People reports:
“A little while ago … a couple of girls in school made up a video of me and put it up on YouTube,” Ali tells PEOPLE exclusively. “They used disgusting words. Like if my mom ever heard me say that stuff, I’d be grounded for life! … They’re disgusting kids. I got really aggravated.” … Such problems are a thing of the past, now that the eighth-grader is being home-schooled. “You learn so much more. No one’s talking about you behind your back. It’s definitely easier.”
Yeah, well done. Nobody’s talking about you behind your back. Nobody’s making videos of you. We’re glad it took an internationally-broadcast reality TV series and a number of widely-distributed interviews with the press for you to get that off your chest. Well done.
Seriously, we’re hugely worried that appearing on Living Lohan is going to have a negative impact on Ali Lohan’s chances of becoming a genuinely famous teen star. After all, if she’s being followed around by a camera crew all the time, then she’s hardly going to have time to get pregnant or take pictures of her tits and publish them on the internet, is she? Where’s the foresight?
Read more:
Ali Lohan: ‘Disgusting’ Girls Ridiculed Me At School – People
AnNe says
all the people who were trying to sabotage ali are haterz haterz i mean y dnt u jus get alife u guys r so freakin imature it makes no sense come on