We’re just the same as you. Since he won American Idol, we’ve been eagerly anticipating Adam Lambert’s debut album too.
Hang on, what do you mean Adam Lambert didn’t win American Idol? And what do you mean Adam Lambert recorded his debut album On With The Show four years ago for a small independent record label and it’s about to be released against his wishes?
Wow, we really didn’t know as much about Adam Lambert as we thought we did. Still, at least we can all agree on one thing about Adam Lambert – he must love his wife very much.
Now that American Idol is a distant memory and he can no longer play off his sexual ambiguity for attention, everyone is keen to know if Adam Lambert can still be a success. And, let’s be honest, the odds are against him.
True, Queen want Adam Lambert to be their new singer, but Queen are rubbish. True, Adam Lambert has a small army of slavish internet followers, but so did David After Dentist and he never really broke out to be the multi-platinum recording artist that everyone expected. And, true, Adam Lambert made it to the final of American Idol, but American Idol has been going on for so long now that we’re pretty sure that we could GHD an emo goat and it’d probably be able to make the final as well.
So really there’s only one conclusive, failsafe way to determine whether or not Adam Lambert can still be considered as a success – his debut album will have to enter the charts at number one and stay there for a meaningful amount of time, like a month or a year or until the end of time or something.
You might think that Adam Lambert would find that easy, since he’s currently recording an album with the cutting edge of the music industry like Lady GaGa‘s writers and producers. But that’s actually for his second album. Adam Lambert’s debut album was recorded four years ago for a very small record label, is entitled On With The Show and is about to get released any day now in a transparently opportunistic effort to cash in on his post-Idol fame. Here’s Want, the lead single from it…
Well, OK, we take all of our sarcasm back. Want is actually a staggeringly good song. Lyrically it’s incredibly profound – we don’t think that the sentiment of ‘love is all you need’ has ever been expressed in a pop song before – and musically Adam Lambert is bang-on as well, since we read the other day that the next big pop trend will be for songs that sound exactly like Robbie Williams B-sides from 1998. Adam Lambert sure must be thrilled with the release of On With The Show:
“The work I did back then in no way reflects the music I am currently in the studio working on. Back in 2005 when I was a struggling artist, I was hired as a studio singer to lend my vocals to tracks written by someone else. I was broke at the time and this was my chance to make a few bucks, so I jumped at the opportunity… I can’t wait for people to hear what my music really sounds like.”
Oh. Well if Adam Lambert doesn’t want us to buy On With The Show then we’re not going to buy it. In fact, we respect Adam Lambert’s opinion so much that we’re never going to buy any of his music ever again. And if any of his music is played on the radio, we’ll switch the radio off. And every time we say his name out loud, we’ll pull a funny face. We’re sure everyone can agree that that’s the most amount of respect that anyone could possibly be expected to give Adam Lambert.
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Cherry says
Wow… you are such an idiot. Get your facts straight and report like a real journalist that your NOT!
anja says
Heritage you are obsessed with Adam Lambert and fixated on being a spoiler. Guess this is the only way you are getting attention eh? You’re acting like a tic on a camel.
mch says
Stuart Heritage, why do you “hate” Adam so such? or just being sarcastic? I sure take it as the later because there is no room for any editorial to be in such a mean spirit.
reggie says
gosh. what a horrid piece of writing. please, do something more constructive. why bash such a good artist like adam?
i suggest u go dig up things on DANNY instead, seeing that u have so much time to write a revolting article
WD says
Oh, man, are you hurting for hits.
Don’t worry, pal; Adam won’t miss or need you.
Sarah Hofmann says
Yes, you’re funny but also an idiot. But you’ll see, Adam will be a HUGE success and he won’t need people like you no more. We, his fans, love him and we trust him, and we’ll follow him, no matter what. We’ll make him soooo great you’ll be amazed and than you’ll, for sure, shut your mouse!!
Barbara says
What a nasty column. Actually, you must be pretty interested in Adam yourself, since you chose to get your second of fame by writing about him. This “piece” has a nasty, sour grapes smell!
Sarah Hofmann says
I meant mouth of course. lol…
nea says
Stuart Heritage, are u happy when you’re bashing Adam Lambert??? What has he done to you that made you hate him so much??? He’s been a good man ever since we knew him. You are not hurting Adam Lambert alone. You are hurting all people who love him and support him. If you don’t like him, no need to write anything about him. You can keep it to yourself. At least you’ll not making any mistakes in judging and bashing a person who has not done anything wrong at all. I love you Adam.
stella says
Shut up Heritage, you’re such an idiot. Adam Lambert is such an amazing artist, you should learn how to find out the truth and be an honest reporter.
Just wait and see, Adam will be huge in the music industry.
MELANIE says
I know its not adam Lamberts choice in song , but i still really like it, Dosnt matter what that bloke sings it always sounds great,
Im sorry can someone tell me WHO Stuart Heritage is…GO ADAM III FOREVER BE A TRUE FAN Love Melanie ( Australia )
mcyi9jm2 says
More Adam Lambert bashing please!
I think he’s ace of course ands will buy his proper album when it comes out, I still like hearing sarcastic stories though!
Ax487 says
Riding Adam’s coattail to get attention. Lowest of the low!
Blondiegrrl says
People! It’s called “facetiousness.” Look it up in the dictionary.
Mr. Heritage, I am a devout fan of Adam Lambert and I, for one, LOVE your columns. They crack me up.
maryann says
Stop talking about Adam in that way!
StuFan#1 says
OMG!!!!!!!!!!!1 where do you get off the bus in calling names of Stuart Heritage don,t you even know whose he is (he is the owner and manger of this website and loads of others to) have you ever done things with yourself like he (Stuart Heritage has)??????no I didn,t thinks o. why don,t all the hatters making rudes on here just go home and lie down and sleep and dream about Adam Lamlet
CC says
WTF is this?? Geez Stewey, this is such a lame attempt at sarcasm and satire, seriously, tho Im a Lambert fan I can take a joke, but this is…..not……even…..funny!! Dude you better find better ways to run Adam’s coattails, cuz this one is an epic phail!! At least revise it so we can laugh.
tij says
What a vile article, Stuart. The only way that Adam will be successful is to have his songs play on the radio. They buyers are the radio listeners. If music is not on the radio, then you can kiss Adam Lambert goodbye.
Karla says
QUEEN ARE NOT RUBBISH!!!
Kelly says
I am now a bigger fan of Adam Lambert after reading this. ‘Want’ is amazing!! I’d go buy that album right now. I guess controversy is good for attention.
wth? says
Ok so first, like ALL your facts are wrong?! Why would you write an article when nothing is even true?? And second, your an idiot and i hope no one actually takes you seriously.
Cubannerd says
jessica says
STUART, FUCK YOU AND ALL YOU ADAM LAMBERT HATERS!!!!!! dont say shit if you cant sing like he does! i am a huge adam fan and millions will back me up when i say anyone who is not an adam fan can go to hell!
AddictecToAdam says
poor you little faggot. are you a claymate ? :)) such bullshits
lyane says
OMG you people are stupid! Can you not appreciate satire? It is true. Americans have zero sense of humour (and, yes, that is how we Canadians who appreciate wit spell humor).
Harharhar says
Great piece. I agree that Adam Lambert is the worst contestant on American Idol ever. Worse the than blind guy, or that fat solider from season 1 or indeed the second worst contestant of all time, that dreadful, talentless, Country & Western Mega Star Carrie “Hot as Fcuk” Underwood.
And as for Adam Lambert fans, what a bunch of American Idiots. Man, are they the most stupidest fools ever. Except AddictecToAdam who uses homophobic insults in support of an homosexual singer – which is surely as close to genuis as we are ever likely to see in our miserable lives…
Phee says
Get your facts right. This isn’t an Adam album at all, four years old or otherwise. It’s a set of demos that he recorded and not intended for release. Hi Fi and Wilshire are now just trying to cash in and because Adam doesn’t own the rights to the material (even the ones he apparently co-wrote) neither he nor RCA can do anything about it.
Oh, and HarHarHar, wind your neck in.
Candice says
The article lost me at “Queen are rubbish”.
To think people actually get paid for writing what a 10 year old could do better.
QT says
Stuart you are a complete I D I O T!!!
dharmalati says
Who are you Stuart..? Your comment is rubbish..!
Dawn says
did you have to go to a special school to become such a freaking moron? This article sucks and you have no talent as a writer…
**barfing**
Terie D. says
Don’t you think you should learn PROPER ENGLISH “BEFORE” giving your opinion (and I use the term loosely) of someone that you OBVIOUSLY know NOTHING about? Hateful comments such as yours are as mindless AND as useless as a screen door in a submarine!!!!!!!!
Terie D. says
Mr.or Ms.HarHarHar: The BIGOTRY that spews from you VENOMOUS LIPS belies any INTELLIGENCE that you are ATTEMPTING to put forth. As you stress the point that we are AMERICANS only leads to the conclusion that you are NOT!! Therefore, one can only feel SORRY for you AND by the way, it’s spelled GENIUS for your information! A DEVOTED & MATURE ADAM LAMBERT FAN FOR LIFE
Terie D. says
As for YOU, Mr. Heritage, whoever you are (this is the FIRST & LAST time I come here) get your facts straight & stop the HATEFUL comments. It is people like YOU who STOKE the FIRES of BIGOTRY in this country. Why don’t you get a REAL job?
Gog says
HarHarHar
It’s so shocking that there are people like who are trying to switch the reality to ignorance. Are your brain and common senses functioning properly? You, yourself belong to the most stupid fools man in the world because you cannot recognize the real talent—because you are ignorant, dumbest, stupid, low IQ,abnormal, brainless, as the author. The author is dumb and HarHarHar is dumber.
Jackie says
AMEN! When he said Queen was rubbish, I knew which part of the anatomy his head was up!
Freddie forever….and i think Adam would be great with Queen!
Cubannerd says
Excuse me. I’m not American, but there’s nothing humorous about this article. He is mocking of Adam and the worst part is that he called Queen “rubbish”. That’s NOT satire or good sense of humor.
Marian says
WTH!I usually find your columns quite amusing, SR, but lately you’ve become fixated on Adam Lambert. What gives? Are you obsessed? Are you simply trying to put him in (what YOU think is) his place? Do you get a perverse kick from tearing the man down? Can you move on or are you stuck? Is it all of the above? Why don’t you give him a break?
Jane says
Dude or whatever you are, have you lost your freaking marbles?? Adam Rocks! I won’t need to read anything else you write…ever…so I guess that is one benefit of this ddribble.
katerose says
Robbie Williams would be best for Queen ’cause He’s realy great
Jane says
New Statement From Adam Regarding The Release Of Old Demos
JUNE 26, 2009, 1:36 pm
Last Friday I was surprised to find out that songs I recorded back in 2005 were being released. Since then I discovered the entire track listing, revealed online today. I was shocked to learn that songwriting demos of songs that I co-wrote and recorded over the past few years may be released in an album. Like a rough draft that a writer does before finishing a book, I did not intend my work on these demos to be heard by the public. I was unaware that anyone intended to release these recordings until I heard about it in the press, and I’m very disappointed by this entire situation.