The American Idol final is gone. Gone but not forgotten. Following the victory of Kris Whateverhisnamewas, the shock is still palpable.
But don’t think that fallen American Idol loser Adam Lambert won’t have the last laugh. Kris Allen may have won the battle, but Adam Lambert has won the war – Adam Lambert’s going to be the new singer of Queen!
Except he isn’t. Brian May mumbled something about it recently, which means that Adam Lambert will probably end up being the fourth male lead in the pan-Siberian touring version of We Will Rock Rock You in about 15 years’ time. Fact.
Adam Lambert’s stunning American Idol defeat last week has forced America to face up to some serious questions. Questions like ‘Was Kris Allen’s victory a sign of institutionalised homophobia in America?’, ‘Really? It was? Do any of you even know how the music industry works?’ and ‘Does it even matter anyway? It’s not as if we’re ever going to hear another peep from either of them ever again, is it?’
But just because he ended up flaming out of American Idol at the last hurdle, the tremendous – some might say froth-mouthed and utterly terrifying – support that Adam Lambert has gained along his journey can only help his chances of achieving the success he so obviously craves. Especially since one of his supporters is none other than Brian May from Queen.
That’s RIGHT! Brian May LIKES ADAM LAMBERT! And he’s in QUEEN! And Queen are 1) all about annoyingly over-theatrical songs, 2) at their best when fronted by a berserk egomaniac and 3) completely unable to recognise when they should quit. And ADAM LAMBERT IS ALL OF THOSE THINGS! ADAM LAMBERT IS GOING TO BE QUEEN’S NEW SINGER! SQUEEEEE!!!
Except, wait, no. Just because a moron on the internet said that they’d quite like it if Adam Lambert became the new Queen singer, it doesn’t mean that it’s true. In fact, Brian May says he hasn’t even spoken to Adam Lambert about the possibility of it becoming true, as he told Rolling Stone:
“Amongst all that furor, there wasn’t really a quiet moment to talk. But [drummer Roger Taylor] and I are definitely hoping to have a meaningful conversation with him at some point. It’s not like we, as Queen, would rush into coalescing with another singer just like that. It isn’t that easy. But I’d certainly like to work with Adam. That is one amazing instrument he has there.”
So who knows? It might work out. After all, Adam Lambert and Queen share the same flair for grating flamboyance, and Adam’s certainly got the range to sing all of Queen’s greatest hits, like the one about seeing a little silhouetto of a man, or the one about bicycles, or the one about dying of AIDS. So it might work out.
Or, alternatively, maybe Queen realise that without even Paul Rogers to prop up their creaky old nostalgic karaoke machine, the only chance they have of selling concert tickets is to rope in whoever happens to be popular on YouTube at any given moment. And that might work out, too, until Adam Lambert gets sacked after a fortnight so that Susan Boyle can have a go. And then Keyboard Cat. And then, if there’s any justice in the world, this chap.
Which we’d be more than OK with, by the way.
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PhDude says
You are a vile piece of work. Adam is AMAZING!
Angel says
Adam was a new born lead singer in any genre. He will not rely on anybody fame .. not even rely on AI cornw to reach his success. I will buy whatever Adam CD record, will buy Adam’s show ticket. He has his own fans who will take him to fame
molly says
http://www.kyte.tv/ch/233613-crashministerofpropaganda Jared Leto
Tutti says
I’ve read a lot of blogs about Adam and Quen and Idol, etc. and I have to say that your blog is one of the most interesting and colorful one. You don’t sound generic and like everyone else. Except Queen didn’t have a song about dying of Aids (not that I know of!) Where do you get that? lol You have a great sense of humor!
Mav says
Who the frick cares about anything that happens on American Idol? Really? Queen are f’ing legends and let’s hope there is nothing to this rumor. Yes, Brian and Roger should give it a rest, but it’s their call, really.
And that joke about AIDS was really not too funny at all.
Long live Freddie!
belle says
What is annoying to you is absolute heaven for me and many other Adam fans. He is the best, brightest talent in YEARS! And that’s not annoying—quite the opposite.
Lee Cunningham says
To the author: please explain the AIDS reference. Sick humour (which I like) has to have a basis. Your AIDS reference is just childish and contrived. Are you a high school student? Does that really make you laugh and feel edgy? It might have played like a Family Guy abstract in your mind, but in print it’s embarrassingly pathetic. Raise your game.
PB says
You are a vile piece of work. Adam is AMAZING!
Rich says
Maybe you just want attention through shock value.
1) all about annoyingly over-theatrical songs – How can a song, or innovators of the genre, over do it? They didn’t.
2) at their best when fronted by a berserk egomaniac – Yes, one of the
greatest voices in the history of music, show respect.
3) completely unable to recognise when they should quit. – It’s spelt
“recognize”, and quit for what? They’re one of the greatest bands ever.
You wouldn’t tell Zeppelin (if they didn’t), or The Who, Pink Floyd (if
they didn’t), AC/DC…no you’d suck their dicks dry till the end.
Good attempt at humor though. Maybe you should type an article like: “Jimi Hendrix, was he good? Maybe, nah, overrated.”
justno says
Yeah that AIDS joke. Just not cool at all. Freddie Mercury was brilliant and deserves more respect. As does Adam.
Ben says
wtf are you talkin about u homophpbic retard you know nothin about Adam who is great singer: or Queen, who are one of the most influential rock bands of all time. And FYI, Queen dont have a song about Aids so its obvious u r mocking Freddie Mercury. Freddie is was of the best front men in history and has sold millions and captivated millions more, then take a look at yourself. Judging ppl u dnt even kno. Adam and Freddie have talent, showmanship and millions of adoring fans, what have you got apart from your mouth?
kynkacat says
Sounds like somene is offended by those that are different and talented – Freddie Mercury does not have to apalogise for who he was. He is a legend and a better singer than anyone else in his genre – alive or dead. If Queen is so old and tired, why do so many younger people still enjoy their music? There are many people in the world that I think we would not miss if they should pass, but Mercury is not among them. He should be enjoying his life right now as should Lennon – Like they say, “The good die young!” They gave more to their fans than their fans ever gave back to them. Let the dead rest in peace.
marcello says
have you guys seen this?
bohemian rhapsody re-recorded from scratch by a single man, with the full choir section.
Not near freddie mercury but it’s fun. check it out!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=295HQSe74I0
Lee Cunningham says
That was pretty entertaining dude. Thanks for posting it.
jackson says
Lambert will never be a Freddie. Freddie was amazing, Adam is a forgettable screamer.
James Steven says
Whoever wrote this article really doesn’t know anything about music. Queen is probably one of, if not the best band that ever existed. Do some research before you start your rant!
PorcoRosso says
Adam is soon forgotted. He’s just an EMO-wanna-be screamer.
KKhal says
it is really horrendous and upsetting that you just called one of the greatest bands of history overly theatrical and annoying. If you can give me another band which is aptly able to synth together hard rock, metal, glam, prog, folk, and baroque into one song, if you can tell me you’ve listened to all of Queen’s albums and opened your ear’s to Freddie Mercury’s passion and genius, your article may have done justice to whatever point you were trying to make.
You are taking Queen’s and Adam Lambert’s stage performances and singularizing them as one type. Freddie’s passion, as I’ve experienced is unsurmountable. I’ve seen Muse on stage (who very evidently draw from Queen as influence), and while Muse’s music is great, their stage presence by no means comes close to Queen’s.
And if you have heard one Queen song and judged their entire album you are a fool. Listen to White Queen by Queen, or Nevermore by Queen…. very different sounds and inevitably talented music making.
I can say I am not biased because I listen to every thing from pop, rock, prog, country, tech, to metal…. Takes one to know a little bit of music to judge music. Please make judicious comments next time if you decide to rant!!!
rare talent... says
Adam is an extremely rare talent, I will buy his cd and show tickets for sure!
Me. says
Adam never will be like Freddia.Cause he works with fucking audio.And Freddie is more beautiful than Adam is…