Are you getting sick of all this Madonna Malawi adoption stuff yet? Are you? Well, it might be over soon. Or it might not – it all depends on a Malawi court, which will soon decide just how naughty Madonna's adoption of David Banda was.
How soon? November 13 to be precise, after today's court case was adjourned. And then, following the Malawi court's decision on the case brought forward by various Human Rights groups, one of two things will happen. Firstly, if the judge decides that Madonna's adoption was illegal, there's a chance that David Banda will be whisked back to his illiterate father in Malawi where he'll be raised in poverty and will possibly die of pneumonia and starvation within a few years. On the other hand, if the Malawi judge allows Madonna's adoption to go ahead unchallenged, we'll all be subjected to even more constant interviews about what an effing saint Madonna is, thousands of magazine covershoots starring Madonna and David Banda and possibly a cash-in album called David Banda Sings The Hits Of Madonna While Riding A Golden Speedboat Across A Sea Of Melted Diamonds. Which one's worse? We really wish we could tell you.
Now that Madonna has opened her heart to Oprah about her interview of David Banda from Malawi, she's finally started to get people on her side and blame the media about what a mess her whole adoption saga was. "The media are bastards!" the public now cry, "we hate the media for telling us about stuff that happened! The wankers!" In fact, it looks like everyone is starting to fall in line behind Madonna's quest to get herself a brown baby because Angelina Jolie's got one.
The father of Madonna's adopted baby, Yohane Banda, had previously got all confused about what adoption entailed and thought that Madonna would give him back after she'd taught him to read and fed him up a bit. But now it seems as if Yohane Banda is perfectly happy to allow the adoption to go ahead. And now that Madonna has got an interim custody order and David Banda is safe in Britain, trying to work out why the sky is a billion times greyer here than in Africa while wearing a bespoke tweed riding suit and baby monocle so he looks just as English as Mummy, it seems like any opposition to Madonna's adoption of David Banda has fallen away.
Well, almost all opposition. Remember all the human rights groups that tried to stop Madonna taking David Banda? They've finally got their case to court, as ITV reports:
A Malawi Court is expected to rule on appeals by human rights groups to stop Madonna from adopting a one-year-old boy. Some 67 rights groups, under the Human Rights Consultative Committee, claimed the adoption of David Banda was illegal. The judge is expected to either allow the case to continue or throw it out if the rights groups fail to gather sufficient interest in the case… The Adoption Act in Malawi stipulates that persons not resident in the country cannot adopt any children.
However, earlier today the presiding judge ruled that the case be adjourned until November 13. The main sticking point for the human rights groups seems to be that Madonna wasn't a resident of Malawi for the 18 months that international adoption law stipulates. But even the human rights organisations are mainly on Madonna's side now; their original yells of "Leave David Banda in Malawi!" have changed to "It's probably for the best if you raise David Banda in England! Just, um, think about what you've done!"
It's now solely up to the Malawi court to choose how far these human rights protests go in November; but now that everyone from Madonna to Yohane Banda to all the people who inexplicably watch Oprah to the actual protesters themselves think that the adoption is mostly a good idea, who's left to stand in Madonna's way? Well, we haven't heard a lot from Madonna's husband lately.
Guy Ritchie was said to be annoyed at the adoption when this whole sorry saga kicked off a few weeks ago, and since then he's all but disappeared off the scene. Maybe Guy will form his own unique protest against Madonna's adoption; one that involves karate-chopping Dexter Fletcher off Press Gang, hiding all of Madonna's horrible leotards and then making a straight-to-video movie that confuses everyone but probably has something vaguely to do with adoption, even though it's mainly about Jason Statham shooting people and talking like a 1950s cockney market trader all the time.
Read more:
Court to rule on Madonna case – ITV
[story by Stuart Heritage]