Before he became The New Ike Turner, people used to say that Chris Brown was The New Michael Jackson.
But, you know, with bigger teeth. And the blazing red eyes of a monster. And a crap bow-tie. And whatever. But ever since he decided to trade in his burgeoning fame for simultaneous careers in woman-beating, roadside rubbish-collecting and constant televised insincere-looking apologies, we’ve heard little of Chris Brown.
But that all changed last night at the 2010 BET awards, where Chris Brown made his comeback. Obviously by ‘comeback’ we either mean ’emotional tribute to his musical hero Michael Jackson’ or ‘the single-most pathetic, overwrought, weeping excuse for a physical and mental breakdown we’ve ever witnessed’ depending on how cruel we’re feeling. Quite cruel, as it turns out. Video after the jump…
By rights, Chris Brown shouldn’t have a career any more. His destiny was to go down in history as the villain in Rihanna‘s What’s Love Got To Do With It-style biopic and nothing more. His brutal attack on Rihanna and subsequent Twitter meltdowns should have seen to that long ago.
But thank heavens that Michael Jackson died, because that’s given Chris Brown the perfect opportunity to try and resurrect his singing career. At last night’s BET awards, Chris Brown was asked to pay tribute to his hero on the first anniversary of his death.
And Chris Brown did this either by performing a split-second perfect rendition of some of Jackson’s most famous dances and then by struggling through a profoundly emotional version of Man In The Mirror, or by jigging around interminably for a few minutes and then bursting into tears in the desperate hope that people wouldn’t think he was such an outright wanker. This depends on how cruel you’re feeling. As we’ve already said, we’re feeling quite cruel. Anyway, here’s a video of Chris Brown’s gigantic meltdown…
So, what are your theories about this? Personally, we can’t make up our mind whether:
1 – Chris Brown broke down because he loves Michael Jackson so much,
2 – Chris Brown broke down because the lyrics to Man In The Mirror directly relate to the mistakes he’s made over the last 18 months and his desire for self-improvement, or
3 – Chris Brown broke down because he’s a chinless twat in a stupid bow-tie who hopes that he can make people forget about the time that he punched, choked, bit and threatened to kill his girlfriend by looking a bit sad during the world’s dullest Michael Jackson tribute.
Oh, who are we kidding? It’s the third one. We’re feeling quite cruel today, did we mention?
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Bobby says
Ballliiiiiiieeeeeeeey Daaaat!
Dee-da says
Await the onslaught of crazy super fans responses
Tom J says
I’m honestly not sure if Chris Brown has any fans left. It’s not that they don’t like him anymore, it’s just that their average attention span is only 4.5 seconds.
Jennifer says
Well, I had a few friends Tweeting like mad when it happened last night, and I avoid the BET Awards like the plague, but now that video isn’t even available anymore so I guess I can’t have much of an opinion.
I thought he was quite the talented performer when he first came out and could do so much, but after the Rihanna showdown and all that, I wasn’t sure what to think, or if I even cared enough to care.
I do know the jokes were funny.
I remember one from TextsFromLastNight.com that read, “So, on a scale from 1 to Chris Brown, how mad are you?”
I was cracking up after that.
One of my friends wasn’t quite as cruel about it, he said he teared up during it. Maybe it was moving, maybe not.
But he also thought the whole thing was great, whereas a few more of my friends turned off the BET Awards about ten minutes into it proclaiming that the awards show gets more boring for them every year. (Kinda sounds like half-time at the Superbowl for me.)
I guess we’ll just see the overall reaction, won’t we?
MrTavMarie says
hook, line, & sinker.