After the whole Rihanna thing, Chris Brown has been working hard to solve his terrifying anger problem.
And, by and large, it’s worked. It’s been a long, slow road to recovery for Chris Brown, but he’s finally realised that sudden bursts of fury never achieve anything meaningful, and he’s gradually moving towards a centred place of calm that…
What? Chris Brown has gone into a shop and, because his album wasn’t displayed prominently enough for his liking, flown into such an apoplectic spaz on Twitter that he’s been forced to delete his account out of embarrassment? Oh, OK. Forget everything we just said, then.
Jesus. What does Chris Brown have to do to win you people over? Seriously – so he flipped out a few months ago and beat Rihanna to the point of unconsciousness. So what? We all have bad days – and don’t forget that she was reading his text messages. The punishment absolutely fit the crime.
And since then, all Chris Brown has done is apologise for the attack in every single way you could possibly think of. He’s done community service. He’s read an unconvincing statement off a cue-card. He’s explicitly stated that he isn’t a monster. He’s sort of implied that it was all Oprah Winfrey’s fault. What more can he do? Nothing – that’s literally everything that a human being can do to make amends for beating a woman up.
And still it’s not enough. Apparently some shops are still thinking twice about displaying albums made by convicted woman beaters, the bastards. So put yourself in Chris Brown’s place. If you walked into a shop and saw that your new album – the one that goes to great lengths to prove how sensitive you really are – wasn’t displayed to your satisfaction, you’d probably leap onto Twitter and unleash a volley of abuse that single-handedly undermined all the hard work you’d put into showing that you aren’t an uncontrollably angry nobstick too, wouldn’t you?
You would! You’d write messages like:
?the[y] didnt even have my album in the back? not on shelves, saw for myself … im tired of this shit. major stores r blackballing my cd. not stockin the shelves and lying to costumers. what the fuck do i gotta do… im not biting my tongue about shit? the industry can kiss my ass.? ? yeah i said it and i aint retracting shit?
And then you’d delete your Twitter account, either because you were ashamed of your outburst or because you wrestled the entire internet to the ground and tried to gouge its eyes out with your thumbs.
Still, it’s the costumers who we feel most sorry for. All they want to do is listen to Chris Brown songs when they make their costumes, and they’re being trampled on by the man.
So, it’s fair to say that Chris Brown’s Twitter swansong must rank as one of the most embarrassing ever. Still, at least he didn’t do a little rap about it like Miley Cyrus did when she left Twitter. That really would have been too awful for words.
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All Women Stalker says
This Chris Brown guy has definitely dug his own career’s grave. Too bad, I liked his first album.
– Kaith
Ann says
He’s the reason why I got a Twitter. What the hell am I suppose to do now? Chris come back!!
Carina says
I am also searching for a centred place of clam. Or a centred plaice.
filli says
http://necolebitchie.com/2009/12/16/chris-browns-mj-tribute-nokia-theater-plus-fan-puts-walmart-on-blast
hey . check this link …you will see CHRIS BROWN was not ying about WALMART ..watch the twit video
angie says
It’s really nice to see Chris get that anger problem under control.
Jacqui says
“[…]because you wrestled the entire internet to the ground and tried to gouge its eyes out with your thumbs.”
Hehe, I lol’d.
Chris Brown needs to get a grip. And a life.
And less anger.
Well, at least people won’t be stuck as to what to buy him this Christmas. :x
JoeMomma says
How angry would you be if someone told you you’d be a megastar and you end up being a one hit wonder.
shooty* says
Heh at costumers.
Seriously, when is Jay Z going to order someone to shoot Chris Brown? It’s been months since the Rhianna incident. If he did it now, no one would even suspect him, they wouldn’t draw the connection.
Come on, Jigga, we’re counting on you.
Sunny says
“… and lying to costumers”
So when to people in costumes warrent being lied to anyway? Oh wait that’s a misspelling… x-D
bey says
SNOOTY OR SNOTTY YOU ARE CRAZY TALKING ABOUT JAY-Z SHOULD KILL CHRIS BROWN…I GUESS YOU WOULD SAY THAT BECAUSE WE ALL KNOW THAT JAY-Z IS AND HAS FU-KED RIHANNA..HE CARES A LIL TOO MUCH ABOUT HER AND MAYBE HE SHOULD DIVORCE BEYONCE AND MARRY RIHANNA THEY WOULD MAKE A WAY BETTER COUPLE ANYWAY..I REALLY CANT SEE BEYONCE WITH JAY-Z BUT I CAN ABSOLUTELY SEE RIHANNA AND HIM TOGETHER…AND AS FAR AS CHRIS BROWN IS CONCERNED HE SHOULD NOT HAVE BEEN WITH RIHANNA CONTROLLING ASS GOING THROUGH PEOPLES PHONE ANYWAY..TOO DAMN JEALOUS..WHAT CELEB DO YOU KNOW IS COMPLETELY FAITHFUL AND WHAT PERSON DO YOU KNOW IS COMPLETELY FAITHFUL OH I KNOW THE UGLY COUPLES AND HARDLY ANY OF THEM..I BET RIHANNA WISH IN A MILLION YEARS SHE HAD NOT KEPT TELLING CHRIS HE WAS LYING ABOUT THE TEXT AND JUST LEFT IT ALL ALONE….NOW THATS OVER…LET THEM SELL CD’S…RIHANNA CANT SING WORTH A SHIT..HER CAREER NEED TO BE OVER..