As a Grey’s Anatomy cast member, Katherine Heigl was essentially paid to stare into the middle distance and weep.
It was a good gig. Standing around whining about relationships with a variety of people who should probably be somewhere else performing emergency surgery on a child is about as easy as it gets, acting-wise. And yet, thanks to her stupid mouth, Katherine Heigl apparently upset the Grey’s Anatomy producers so much that they planned to kill her off.
Except now Katherine Heigl wants to stay on Grey’s Anatomy. That’s good news for Katherine Heigl and, um… oh, just Katherine Heigl.
If you’re a member of the Grey’s Anatomy cast, you basically only have two rules to live your live by. The first rule is that you must regularly examine exactly where your life went so very wrong, and the second one is that you must never upset the Grey’s Anatomy producers.
That last one’s key. Upset the producers by screaming homophobic slurs or having the temerity to read your lines exactly as they are on the script and they won’t think twice about sacking you. So with this in mind it’s a small miracle that Katherine Heigl has stayed on Grey’s Anatomy for so long, given that last summer she decided not to nominate herself for an award because she thought the writing on the show was so cack.
Which, you know, it is. But still, shame on you, Katherine Heigl.
So how did the Grey’s Anatomy producers respond to this slight? Easy – they gave her a massive load of brain cancer. A terminal one, too, if rumours were to be believed. And then they screamed “There! Now, do you want to complain about the broken chair in your dressing room again? DO YOU?” to a sobbing Ellen Pompeo. Possibly.
However, despite the giant load of cancer that’s ravaged her brain, it now seems like Katherine Heigl’s character might remain a part of Grey’s Anatomy – and it’s all thanks to Heigl’s perfectly-calibrated ability to grovel endlessly, as the LA Times reports:
I don’t know if that’s a yes or a no. No one will tell me and I don’t know how this is going to go. I don’t know if I live or die. I don’t know how Izzie fares…. I’m there” if Izzie remains part of “Grey’s Anatomy,” Heigl said. She called the set “one of my favorite places to be” and said her colleagues are also friends.
Personally we hope that Katherine Heigl’s Grey’s Anatomy character isn’t killed off by brain cancer, because that would give her the satisfaction of performing a touchingly elegant final death scene. No, it’d be much better for her to beat the cancer and then get hit by a bus. Or fall down an abandoned lift shaft. Or have her head knocked off by a robotic aeroplane with a bowling ball tied underneath it. Or be swallowed whole by giant sewer crocodile. Or be shot in half by lasers. Or get her hair caught in an industrial shredder.
We’ve got a million of these. Grey’s Anatomy people, call us.
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Liam says
Actually I am kinda hoping you will disappear rather than Heigl. She is far more pleasant. Also you must be a special kind of stupid if you think you nominate yourself for an award. Heigl simply did not submit an entry for consideration (along with about 10000 other actors as it happens). Also if you had a brain you might realise Heigl is simply playing the publicity angle. She clearly would like to pursue her movie career (and good luck to her she is an excellent actress). Why work all year on Grey’s when you get $6 million a movie.
Andrew says
YAY Katherine Heigl doesn’t wanna leave… WOO
tbaggin says
I take it that Stuart Heritage isn’t aware of HOW the movie industry works eh? I mean your lack luster and unwitty post truly shows your ignorance. I guess from a site like hecklerspray, I wouldn’t be surprised at all the brain morons running this page.
Jenna says
Sorry World, Stuart Heritage’s Not Leaving Hecklerspray
Horror says
It’s like the Katherine Heigl Fan Club in here. I’m only here because I thought you might talk about her boobs. You sorely disappoint me HS.
Bobby James says
I want to enter Heigl’s anatomy.
Carpe dumbass Liam says
Liam – You’re the one that should be disappearing, considering that you know nothing about what a good actress looks like. There’s nothing pleasant about the arrogant bitch, but if you paid attention to HER instead of her saggy rack, then you’d know as much. There’s no such thing as submitting ones’ name for nomination (which by the way, ditz, is the same things as NOMINATING YOURSELF; the rest is just semantics). I would love to see the so-called 10,000 actors that didn’t nominate themselves, but just like your idol Heigl, you’re a bad liar. If YOU had the brain then YOU’D know that SHE’S not the one doing the PR, moron, that’s why she has an agent. Where do you think the press gets all of these polished sentences and phrases from? It sure as hell ain’t from cackling Katherine, and if you think that she can even form intelligible sentences, then you’re even dumber than she is; which is tough to beat. What movie career? All of two movies that went NOWHERE in the Box Office, and you’ve made my point about not knowing what good acting is. She only got $6 million for one movie, that did even less in the box office than her first one, so no one is going to pay her that much anymore. Go crawl back under that rock that you sleep under.
Look who’s talking about not knowing much about the movie business – Tfaggin’. Learn how to write in English, then maybe you will make sense to people who can actually think for themselves.
Maddie says
OMFG… Freakin HILARIOUS!
You don’t bite the hand that feeds you KH. Silly woman. Not that she actually ‘NEEDS’ Grey’s to survive. But seriously! You don’t piss off the big bosses if you wanna stay on the show. They’ll really give you something to cry about then! GAH!
I mean I really don’t hope that Izzie dies. Cos that would suck. It would be this whole big thing… and it would overpower the point of the show. Meredith. If KH needs to bitch so much, she should go get her own frickin show. If anyone is allowed to whinge… it’s Ellen Pompeo or Patrick Dempsey. They are the ones with the biggest fan base. Gosh, I don’t know anyone who doesn’t wanna see their beloved MerDer live out their happily ever after. I am one of those people. Bring it on :)
Grey’s still rocks. I’m still as obsessed with it as I was from day 1. But… I’m sick of KH being a big ‘ol whinge bag all the time. Everyone else… except TR.K of course… has no problem with anything. Except when dialogue sometimes doesn’t sound so good when actually said in a scene. E.g. Patrick Dempsey… the 1st MerDer scene of Elevator Love Letter. Where he said the scene would have more power if Derek said nothing, and just put the ring on the table. Wordlessness, with everything conveyed through his eyes. Let me just say, totally worked. :) Hence, the ‘Patrick for Producer’ poll thing that’s circulating at the moment.
I still can’t believe Shonda was gonna make Derek say “Fetch” after he hit the ring into the woods. Glad Patrick was like… I seriously can’t say that and go home to my family. I can’t say that to a woman ever, Derek would never say that to Meredith ever. DAH!
Let’s hope the rest of season 5 is just as amazing as it has been so far. Turning out to be my favorite season so far. Oh yeah, except the dragging on of the Denny thing.
Fact Check says
“There
Mo says
Oh please. Ellen Pompeo and Patrick Dempsey are bigger whiners than the rest of the cast put together. And for some reason, they NEVER get called on it. I can’t count how many times Pompeo has ripped the writers. She called Gizzie “just a ratings stunt.” She claimed Shonda Rhimes would never admit to all the storyline mistakes she’s made because “this is Hollywood.” Interview after interview she whines about what a wimp she thinks Meredith is. And most recently, at the 100th Episode party, she bashed Shonda again over the Denny storyline. Something, I should point out, not even Katherine Heigl (who actually had to act out the sex scenes with a ghost), was classless enough to do. Talk about biting the hand that feeds you. No wonder Pompeo looks like she ate her last meal in 1992.
LoReNa says
Great!! i fuckin hate this guy!
Lyndsie says
Wow…you people should stop worrying about what all of these actors do behind the scenes and just watch the damn show!!!!!! What difference does it make in your life if they are whiny bitches or not…I’m pretty sure none!!! This is hilarious. You people are the ones being whiny! You can’t possibly know who said what to whom unless you were there, so maybe you should LET IT GO!!!!!!!!!!!!! Why do people always have to talk shit about things that they don’t know a damn thing about!!!
P.S. This is mostly directed toward CARPE DUMBASS LIAM and MO.
sunshine says
why is anyone even responding to this writer of a no doubt brainless and stupid long boring article. The guy is a dummy and believes everything that the gossip pages display. Tell me… when is the last time you have spoken to Katherine?? I will call her Katherine since you obviously know her so well AND her career…. so surely you won’t mind my asking?!
Why don’t you just enjoy great acting and accept it for what it is! No one is perfect and upon reading this article YOU definitely are far from it!
Thanks
petLover says
Katherine Heigl is disgrace for all actors, not sure who seen her interview with David Letterman tonight, she said go to Mexico and get your pets.
There are plenty of lovable dogs right here in the old USA.
lexie says
katherine is not a disgrace to anyone she is awesome , and her interview the ting about the dog well that was a joke hun dont take it litterally because she is a dog lover herself she owns four or five dogs and has a rescue foundation she is amazing okay so leae her alone
from her biggets fannnn <3333
Tavi says
Carpe dumbass Liam, Grey
Vanessa says
Katherine Heigl is the best thing on Grey’s Anatomy. Her movies are awesome!!! You are so mean.Katherine rocks!!!