Khloe Kardashian would rather go naked than wear fur, but it’s important not to confuse Khloe Kardashian with her sister Kim.
Because, while Khloe Kardashian would rather go naked than wear fur, Kim Kardashian would rather go naked, set up a video camera, roll around on a bed and boff a man whose tongue looks like it’s being remotely-controlled by a man from The Henson Company than wear fur.
But still, nice try. Meanwhile, some dogs have just started an ‘I’d rather be bludgeoned to death for my fur inside an abandoned Chinese warehouse than see Khloe Kardashian’s arse again’ campaign. Unrelated, we’re sure.
The fur trade is almost as old as humanity itself – with fur first being used to provide vital warmth for man’s earliest ancestors, and then as clothing for the likes of pimps, various queens of Narnia and genuinely awful rich women. And the fur trade is still going strong, despite decades of protest by activists concerned about the awful conditions in which the animals are kept and killed.
But today is the day that the fur trade dies.
Over the years, PETA has experimented with making famous people take their clothes off for its ‘I’d rather go naked than wear fur’ campaign. But no matter who got naked – supermodels, film actresses, actresses who used to do films but don’t do much now and idiots – the fur trade carried on regardless.
But now, finally, PETA has understood exactly who needs to get naked to put an end to this barbarism – the less-famous sister of a woman who’s sole claim to marginal fame is that she had sex on the internet and her dad’s a lawyer or something. Khloe Kardashian, the animals thank you for saving their lives. People reports:
Move over, Kim Kardashian. Your famous rear end may have some competition ? from your little sister. In a new anti-fur ad for PETA, Keeping Up with the Kardashians costar Khloe Kardashian disrobes and shows off her posterior. Next to the star, 24, is the tagline “Fur? I'd Rather Go Naked.”
It’s thought that Khloe Kardashian decided to go naked for PETA to try and shame her sister Kim Kardashian, who is still an avowed fur-wearer. But that’s not the only reason, of course – Khloe Kardashian also went naked for fur because it’d get her talked about and, as such, she was also prepared to take her clothes off for the following campaigns:
‘I’d rather go naked than buy ivory’.
‘I’d rather go naked than illegally traffic a prostitute in from Albania’.
‘I’d rather go naked than drop-kick a squirrel into a threshing machine’.
‘I’d rather go naked than give a dog a Chinese burn.’
‘I’d rather go naked than something to do with deforestation’.
‘I’d rather go naked than punch a cow in the jaw.’
‘I’d rather go naked than eat, frankly. Or sleep. I love getting naked, so long as it’s for a good cause. Or a bad cause. Or no cause at all. I’ll get famous if I do this, right? What if I jiggle my tits around?’
Anyway, the sight of Khloe Kardashian naked will definitely get the fur trade on the run. If they know what’s good for them they’ll stop killing animals immediately, because as soon as Khloe convinces her sister to do the same, there’ll be trouble. After all, everyone knows that Kim Kardashian’s vagina is essentially a swirling vortex that nothing can ever escape, not even light, once it’s unleashed.
melabonbon says
Kim doesn’t want to wear fun?
What is wrong with her?
Julian Mentat says
The choice is simple. Either we shall have a world where everybody wears fur, or a world where everybody is a slim nude twentysomething model.
Shitty says
Fuck skinning animals and wearing them, with that hair and from her pubes she could crochet a rather nice outfit.
markie says
I’d rather be sandpaper my nuts than spend ten minutes speaking to a PETA member.
melabonbon says
O Stuart, I see you’ve fixed your typo without giving me any credit for spotting it and now my comment makes no sense.
Thanks a lot.
Stuart Heritage says
O Melabonbon, in that case:
Thank you for making my dreadful and humiliating spelling mistake public. You are incredible.
Love
Stuart
Julian Mentat says
But Stuart, *you* made it public. When you published it.
Stuart Heritage says
You and your bloody logic, Julian. You and your bloody logic…
RMK says
who really cares about another Kardashian girl gone naked, this time fore PETA? Kourtney got filmed nude underaged by a b/f also underage. Kim got filmed naked and can be found on the internet. Kim also had nude pics by Playboy, who also took pics of mother. Brother’s g/f Adrienne got laptop stolen with nude pics on it. If they like nudity that much for the public to eventually see, maybe they either need to go into adult filmaking or live at a nudist camp. let’s she what the two baby sisters end up doing in a few years.