We have some unbearably sad news for you – well, some unbearably sad news if you happened to like We Own The Night, anyway.
No? Nobody liked that film? OK, well we have some unbearably sad news if you happened to like Reservation Road. What? None of you liked that either? The Village? Ladder 49? Signs? Brother Bear? Nothing? You didn’t like any of them? What about 8MM, for crying out loud? Everyone liked 8MM, right? No?
Christ, alright, look. What we’re trying to tell you is that Joaquin Phoenix has decided to quit acting forever. But before you start shrugging, bear this in mind – Joaquin Phoenix has quit acting so that he can focus on his music career. That sound you can hear right now? That’s the sound of your soul groaning.
If there’s one thing that actors like to do it’s complain about their job. As everyone from Keira Knightley to Sienna Miller has informed us, there’s literally nothing harder in the world than to be grossly overpaid to spend four months of the year being prettied up and expected to memorise some words off a piece of paper a small chunk at a time. It sounds like hell.
But while the likes of Keira Knightley only threaten to quit acting, Joaquin Phoenix has gone one step further. At the age of 34, Joaquin Phoenix has had enough of the slog and the graft of acting. And the enormous paycheques. And the constant string of willing sexual partners. And the comparatively slight workload. It’s all too much for him, so he’s off.
According to Joaquin Phoenix, you see, his new movie will be his last. That’s right, Joaquin Phoenix has a new movie coming out. No, we didn’t know about it either. And, no, now that we do know about it, we’re probably not going to watch it either. Anyway, The Telegraph reports:
The US star, who has twice been nominated for an Academy Award, said that his latest film, Two Lovers, would be his last. “I want to take this opportunity… also to give you the exclusive and just talk a little bit about the fact that this will be my last performance as an actor,” he told the television programme Extra. He added: “I’m not doing films anymore.”
The reason for Joaquin Phoenix’s sudden desire to stop making films? Because he’s an artist in the truest sense of the word and he wants to pursue a music career. After all, Johnny Cash was a famous musician, and Joaquin Phoenix played Johnny Cash in a movie once, so logic dictates that Joaquin Phoenix will be a famous musician too.
Just look at Jamie Foxx. He played Ray Charles in a movie and then released an album and… OK, bad example.
But good luck to Joaquin Phoenix. It isn’t easy to give up a successful and financially-rewarding career to try something brand new. So we wish you well, Joaquin Phoenix, and look forward to ignoring your songs with all the fierce concentration that we’ve been ignoring your films.
Stabby McGee says
Buffalo Soldiers was the first film I saw him in and it really is top notch. Shame the rest were a bag of balls really, isn’t it?
fez says
You know nothing