As the star of highbrow hits like Syriana, Michael Clayton and Good Night, And Good Luck, George Clooney is a man who knows quality.
However, as the star of lowbrow schlock like One Fine Day, Predator: The Concert and one episode of 1980s detective motorcycle TV show Street Hawk, George Clooney is also a man who probably appreciates having it off with huge-norked softcorn pornstars.
We take that back – George Clooney is definitely a man who appreciates that. If current reports are true, George Clooney has got back together with his old flame Krista Allen, a woman probably best known for her work in the erotic television show Emmanuelle In Space, where Krista Allen taught sex to some aliens by having sex with some aliens. We’re not sure what our point is here, but it’s probably this – well done George Clooney.
George Clooney is a man with several loves. He loves movies for example, and he’s just crazy about endorsing just about every single shitbox consumer product that gets waved under his nose for cash. But most of all, George Clooney loves women.
Or, to be slightly more accurate, George Clooney likes going out with one woman for a year or two, then dumping them, then doing the same with another woman, then another woman, and then going back to the first woman and starting all over again.
Previous Clooney conquests have included Lisa Snowdon off that dancing show and Sara Larson, the woman who George shared the world’s most romantic motorcycle accident last year. But perhaps George Clooney’s biggest love of all was Krista Allen, his girlfriend from 2004 to 2006 most famous for her brave updating of the seminal Emmanuelle softcore erotic movies where she went on a spaceship and had it off with some aliens.
Although Krista Allen knows sadness more than anyone else – she stopped playing Emmanuelle right before it got brilliant and started to be about a scientist who accidentally swaps minds with a cat and starts rubbing her fanny up and down on a bedpost, for example – at least it sounds like her personal life has taken an upswing. According to some reports, Krisa Allen is back together with George Clooney. The New York Daily News reports:
George Clooney may have figured out there’s no girlfriend like an old girlfriend. The bedroom-eyed Oscar winner has quietly circled back to Krista Allen, friends tell us. Throughout, says a friend, “Krista has always been there for him. She admits she just can’t get over him.” And something about Krista brings him back. “George really loves her,” says the source.
If it’s true, it’s so sweet that George Clooney has managed to rekindle his relationship with Krista Allen. Maybe she’ll even be able to provide some intellectual inspiration for his upcoming movies – because God knows his previous films have missed her influence.
Had Krista Allen been around recently, we get the feeling that George’s infamous Syriana torture scene would have been conducted by a sexy alien with big tits, plus we would have seen the release of a George Clooney movie entitled The Good German With Massive Tits Who Has It Off With Some Aliens In Space. We’re heartbroken that this didn’t happen.
Actually, though, this has got us a bit worried. Our last story was about a film director having sex with an actress and, since George and Krista met after George hired her for a part in Confessions Of A Dangerous Mind, this one is too.
We swear to God, if our next story happens to be about Michael Winner, we’re genuinely not going to stop vomiting for a month.
Dr. Scientist says
I heard that he is! She is some hot stuff! if I read correctly, they had met while filming Confessions of a Dangerous Mind where he played this CIA guy who gets this successful director to assassinate people for the US government. It was a really good movie, and she looked hot in it too!
Kristyn says
He is a hypocrite. He sooo seroius with his Darfur stuff and then he turns around and plays with porn stars
nomosleezzeplze says
bit it bitch