We’d be honoured to have John McCain use any of of our songs – like Look At My Stubby Little Arms or Eghhh (EGHHH) – in his election campaign.
But sadly John McCain isn’t having any of it. Instead, he’d rather use My Hero by Foo Fighters which – while probably a better election song that Eghhh (EGHHH) because it doesn’t have a seven-minute death-jazz intermission played on a contraceptive diaphragm – has annoyed Foo Fighters no end.
John McCain’s use of My Hero has enraged Foo Fighters so much that they’ve launched a furious rock n roll riposte – they’ve written a really bloody strongly worded letter about it. In fact, Foo Fighters have really laid the law down – if John McCain plays My Hero one more time, they’re going to call the flipping council about it or something. Just you watch them!
When a person runs for office in America, it’s important that they pick a campaign song. The song helps to set the tone of the campaign, plus it means there isn’t an awkward two-minute period while the politician shuffles to the podium in the middle of the stage in deathly silence. Would Hitler have lost the war if he’d picked something like Ooh Baby I Love Your Way (Every Day) by Big Mountain as his campaign song? Doubtful.
However, one person who’s been having trouble picking a good campaign song is Republican presidential nominee John McCain. Well, actually that’s a lie – John McCain has found loads of brilliant songs for his campaign, but the trouble is the bands who recorded them get super shitty every time he uses them.
So far, both Heart and Jackson Browne have asked John McCain and his running mate Sarah Palin to stop playing their songs on the campaign trail, but now John McCain has met his biggest foe yet – Foo Fighters.
You see, because John McCain is such a hero that he basically single-handedly inspired the flashback scenes from Rambo he decided that the only appropriate song to use is My Hero by Foo Fighters. After all, that’s about, um, a heroin addict blowing his chops off with a shotgun, and that’s, um, sort of, um, appropriate?
Anyway, Foo Fighters aren’t taking this lying down – they’ve issued a statement explaining exactly why John McCain using My Hero in the election is jolly well not on. BBC News reports:
The band said in a statement: “The saddest thing about this is that My Hero was written as a celebration of the common man and his extraordinary potential. To have it appropriated without our knowledge and used in a manner that perverts the original sentiment of the lyric just tarnishes the song.”
These poor Republicans can’t catch a break, can they? First everyone from Diddy to Madonna has lined up to bash Sarah Palin, and now Kurt Cobain‘s beardy drummer has decided that he doesn’t like John McCain? No wonder he looks like he’ll lose the election now.
Anyway, the best way for John McCain to steer clear of any more trouble like this is to only use songs by people who haven’t complained about him yet. So, in that respect, we think that leaves McCain with a choice between My Old Man’s A Dustman, I Am Woman Hear Me Roar by Helen Reddy and the theme-tune to The Benny Hill Show.
We know which one we’d pick – all three.
Kirk says
Stuart,
Stubby little arms? Are you kidding me? Should we now poke fun at all physically handicapped politicians just because we disagree with them? Do you know why he has “Stubby little arms”? I think you should apologize for that statement. But then again, he got those arms upholding your right to free speech. I hope you have to live through a world were you cannot say what you want when you want. Then you will realize how good you have it.
Kirk
chris says
It seems now that there is a pattern of behavior for the McCain Campaign. Perhaps the RIAA should go after him. Or at least the artists should sue as the NFL or MLB has been suing the churches for having the “super bowl” or “World series” parties without the express written consent of the appropriate league.
Banden says
Kirk,
Why should Stuart have to apologize for a statement Dave Grohl made?
The funny thing is that Grohl was saying John could use that song… but YOU are the one who says John McCain has stubby little arms. LOL
“Do you know why he has “Stubby little arms”?”
Regardless this is yet another example of the John McCain campaign stealing intellectual property. Along with Van Halen’s “Right Now, John Hall’s “Still the One”, Heart’s “Barracuda” (Shall I continue?)
OK.. I shall: Jackson Browne’s “Running on Empty”, John Mellencamp’s “Our Country” as well as John Mellencamp, “Pink House”… He’s been given orders stop using the “Rocky” theme song illegally, “Cant Keep My Eyes Off Of You” as well as being asked to not use footage of Mike Meyers and Dana Carvey’s characters from waynes world in his advertisements.
He’s a thief and a liar: plain and simple.
Dave says
If McCain is elected our National Anthem will be, “The day the music died”. … and a whole bunch of American soldiers too.
OBAMA!
Patrick Britton says
Here’s where the Foo Fighters lose my respect. They are basically saying that if you don’t subscribe to their political affiliations then you’re not allowed to enjoy their music. That’s very shallow.
Dave says
Not really Patrick. Every artist in America has asked the McCain camp not to use their music, but they do it anyways.
Anyone with an ounce of respect would ask first. Right?
Boppingub says
Patrick,
They are not saying that the politician has to believe what they believe. They only said they were not asked before the song was used. Which gives them every right to be angry and not want to allow them to use the song.
Whether they (Foo fighters) are dem or reb is not the issue.
Julian Mentat says
>> “I hope you have to live through a world were you
>> cannot say what you want when you want.”
Richard Humphreys, in a bar-room chat, jokingly said that “God might speak to the world through a burning Bush”. Humphreys was arrested for threatening the president. He was found guilty and sentenced to more than 3 years in prison.
shooty* says
Wow. I tried to focus on most of the above comments, but was unable to. My eyes just kind of skated off them, and if I tried too hard, I fell asleep. Some of them seemed to take themselves seriously.
Anyway… he should use some country n western. Billy ray Cyrus! John Couger Mellencamp! Or someone dead, who can’t complain! Mozart! Louis Armstrong!
Ironlung says
The benny hill theme tune would be perfect! it encapsulates the whole tone of the “election” in the finest detail. gj.
@ Kirk, you cant reserve the righ to free speech for only nice people. Seems to me Mr Heritage can say what he likes. i mean, thats what McCain fought for….right?
J Bollocks says
On the more boring side of things, do the foo’s actually own the rights to that song are they just big fat winging hippies?
I mean does Sony or EMI or Micheal Jackson own the rights?
Gilbert Wham says
No, Kirk. McCain did not fight for anyone’s ‘right to free speech’. He got shot down whilst fighting in a deeply nasty, overblown war-by-proxy with the russians where the US had their asses handed to them by a peasant army. However, as ironlung so gracefully pointed out, free speech applies to everyone. Even people to whom you take umbrage. Anyhoo, he’ll be dead by this time next year, and that loon Palin will be packed off back to Alaska never to be heard of again, so fuck ’em.
Also, I thought that Heart letter wasn’t real? Sadly, Dave Grohl is.