But until the day when he inevitably ends up fronting that show – working title Diddy: It’s Both Oblivious And Obnoxious – we all have to put up with him spouting off endlessly about whatever subjects happen to be ambiently passing through his brain all the time like some sort of dreary old pensionable pub bore, but gangsta.
This time, Diddy has turned his sights on newly-named Republican vice presidential candidate Sarah Palin. Diddy’s not a fan of Sarah Palin, you see – it’s all because Sarah Palin is the Governor of Alaska and “there aren’t even any crackheads in Alaska.” We’re not joking. We wish we were. Oh, there’s video after the jump, too.
Historians are going to look back on the day when Diddy discovered YouTube and declare it the exact day that the human race started to go wrong. Sure, it had been bad before, what with all the death and war and sadness and whatever, but at least we didn’t have video footage of the man who did that Godzilla song having a piss while describing exactly why he enjoys pissing back then.
It’s not just urination that Diddy enjoys prattling on about on video – he’s also taken to the internet to praise his girlfriend for carrying his children right before he left her. Plus not so long ago Diddy recruited an assistant by posting a video on YouTube, which was a smart move – after all, his ideal candidate was an obese loner with terrible skin and a secret longing that humans could be as understanding as cats.
And now Diddy is using his fondness to push through a political message. It’s all because of Sarah Palin, you see – John McCain has announced her as his running mate in the upcoming election. Leaving aside the fact that seeing elderly white-haired John McCain and younger, marginally sexier Sarah Palin together is like watching a creepy remake of late 1980s ITV nightclub show The Hitman And Her, Sarah Palin has managed to get right up Diddy’s nose.
Why? Has Diddy seen through the seemingly transparent fact that Sarah Palin was only made VP to lure disappointed female Hillary Clinton supporters to the Republican party? No. Is he fundamentally opposed to Sarah Palin’s pro-life, pro-capital punishment worldview? No. Does he disagree with Sarah Palin’s decision to support a bill allowing wolves to be hunted from the sky? Not really.
In fact, Diddy seems most concerned that Sarah Palin comes from Alaska and not too many Alaskans are addicted to crack. Here’s the video…
You know what? It’s easy to mock, but Diddy actually makes some very good points. Michelle Obama really would have been a better choice of Republican vice presidential candidate because, as Diddy points out, it would have been more ‘strategic and fly’ to do that. Let’s hope that John McCain sees sense and appoints Diddy as his Chief Strategy And Flyness Advisor. It’s a no-brainer, really – Diddy gets his long dreamed-of position of political power and John McCain gets, um, a nice pair of sunglasses or something.
Oh, and by the way Diddy – Sir Rock Obama? What are you, seven?